May 2012—Cha Jones
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| picture from wisegeek.com |
Is there anyone feeling the “I miss home blues? “ If you are a newbie to expat living, then that
can be expected. However, I would venture to say that even those of us with a
few years of jet stream drifting behind our journeys can identify with the
feeling as well.
Expat living can be exciting and challenging all wrapped up
in a pretty little luggage. But as we
all know, some of the best luggage can be misdirected from time to time,
especially on an international flight! And if you are traveling solo thousands
of miles away from home it can become very overwhelming and the adjustment may
take some getting used to. So, here is some advice that I hope can assist you
when you are having one of those, “Why the hell am I doing this again?”
moments.
I would first like to say that being homesick doesn’t make
you any less fit for the journey; it just means that you miss home. However,
it’s not the time to pack your bags and return, but rather a good time for you to
find comfort in searching your soul. Most likely when you are experiencing
being homesick you are feeling the disconnection of your extension to your
family, friends and familiar environment. But if you find ways to extend home
into your new environment, then most likely this will ease your feelings of
being homesick and you can get back to the business of expat living.
When the excitement has worn…
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| picture from google images |
Get connected
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| picture from Huffpost Tech |
Skype
One of the first things we miss about home are the people in
our lives. You begin thinking back on what you use to do or you visit the
calendar and realize you’re missing something that is going on at home, but the
reality is you aren’t in Kansas anymore (or wherever you are from Dorothy).
First, stop making yourself miserable thinking about things
that can’t be changed. If you miss the people that you adore back at home make
time to video call them. It may require that you stay up later or get up
earlier, but that is the price you pay to see the people that you love. If you
are missing a big event at home such as a wedding or birth, then ask your
family or friends to Skype you in, most places have wifi now days. You may have
to think out the box and get the people at home to think out the box as well. However, I’m sure that you seeing the birth of
you new niece or nephew will be worth all the hassle it took to Skype you in.
Familiarity
The next thing that makes people homesick is the lack of
having things around them that give them a sense of familiarity. Maybe you miss
driving your car, taking a bathtub, the ease of grocery shopping or going to a
hair stylist. For me, it was a lack of having a normal (American) shower that
made me miss home on a daily bases, but I learned to come up with a system to
cope with my shower blues. However, something as simple as not having a bathtub
or a normal shower can send you into emotional panic on that one day that you
really wished you could be home. So, try to find something that can take the
place of the thing you long for, that could be difficult, but it’s worth
trying.
Now, you may not be able to replace something like a
bathtub, but you can come up with a new way of using what you have and creating
a whole new experience. If you want some familiar food, then you may have to
find something that is totally different but made in the same or a similar way.
Remember, you mostly likely moved abroad because you wanted to have a change,
so take this time to do so and start creating a new experience.
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| picture from google images |
Perspective
“When you can change the way you look at a thing, the thing you are looking at changes.” —Wayne Dyer
Sometimes we find ourselves homesick because we or
attracting negative things into our lives through a negative outlook. We
arrived on our new journey all excited and ready to take on the great
experiences that came along with moving abroad. However, now we find ourselves
homesick because we walked into a store with an, “I can’t find anything”
attitude. How is that you can’t find anything when you are in a store with thousands
of items? What you meant was, you can’t find anything that meets your
requirements, but there are several things in the store for you to find if you
change how you see things. I know how it feels to have an expectation,
especially on the day when you woke up and wanted a nice American (or whatever
your home country would be) style breakfast, and you have no means of actually
making that happen. But look on the bright side; you can still have something
wonderful to eat even if it’s not what you desire to have. Sometimes we make ourselves homesick when you
think about or dwell on things that we can’t change, and all we have to do is
change how we are perceiving things and the things we are experiencing changes.
The journey is to be
traveled…
Don’t let being homesick ruin the journey. It’s normal and
happens to the best of us, but the best way to fight through it is to find the
excitement again and live there. Being homesick will come and go, and in time
it happens less and less, especially when you get into a routine and find
friends and extended family where you are. We all deal with our experiences of
being homesick a little different, but remember that no matter what you are
dealing with, “This too shall pass!” So, enjoy the journey and learn to be in
the NOW of every experience, and home will start to look like the place you are
in.
Other links to articles that may help:
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