From English Teacher to Foreign Service Officer

May 2012—Cha Jones

Have you ever wanted to know what goes on at an Embassy or imagined being invited to an Embassy party to rub elbows with a diplomat? Well, if any of that interests you, then you may want to think about a career as a Foreign Service Officer.

Foreign Service Officers are diplomats employed by the U.S. Department of State. As a Foreign Service Officer you could work at any one of the 265 U.S. embassies and consulates around the world working on the implementation of foreign policy, insuring the interests of the U.S. government abroad, as well as assisting American citizens who are living and working in foreign countries.

As a Foreign Service Officer, there are five different career tracks that you may enter: Consular officer, Economic officer, Management officer, Political Officer, and Public Diplomacy Officer. If you are interested in learning more, please click on the link below. 

(http://careers.state.gov/officer/career-tracks)

From English Teacher to Foreign Service Officer—Joia Starks, U.S. Consular Office in Barbados 

Joia Starks is a 2005 graduate of Hampton University. During her studies, she had an opportunity to study abroad in Mexico with a Spanish immersion program and after graduating from college, she spent 5 weeks studying abroad in Paris. Shortly after she graduated  with a degree in Marketing she moved to New York City and worked in corporate America for a couple of years, but after waking up in tears with no desire to go to work, she realized that she was unfulfilled. She missed being abroad and being in another culture experiencing new things.

So, in October 2007 she actually moved to South Korea to teach English as a second language for a year. It was nothing like the stories that she read in her youth, which is what began her adventures abroad, but it was the beginning of what would actually change her life forever.  

Teaching English in Korea

Joia, describe how you felt when you moved to Korea?

“I was super nervous. I had a lot of anxiety because I had never been to Asia and I didn’t speak Korean and I didn’t know anyone other than one person who I met on Dave’s ESL Café. I think my friends and family were more worried than I was, but because they were so nervous it made me not as nervous. I was really excited because I was embarking on what could be the most amazing adventure of my life.”

What was the best thing about living in Korea?

“There are so many great things about Korea. I really developed a good core group of friends, both expats and Koreans, which felt like family. We just clicked right away. That made the experience good. I love the food, and the vibrancy of the city. Seoul is a pretty safe place to be and I liked going out on the town eating all night and drinking. If I wanted to go to museums, I was able to do that as well.”

Was there anything negative about being abroad or being in Korea?

Yeah, I think anywhere, there are going to be some downsides. I would say the hardest thing about being and living anywhere abroad is the transition when you are trying to get settled and comfortable in this new place and it’s not yet clicking. So, my first four or five months it was a little rough because I didn’t have my core group of friends, I was missing home, I couldn’t read anything and I could barely go to the grocery store without having a melt-down. So, I think that adjusting in a new place can be a bit of a negative experience if you are just not use to it.”

What was the biggest difference from living abroad and being back home in New Jersey or was there a difference?

“I would say the biggest difference would obviously be the language. I moved to Korea not knowing Korean. Yeah, I had my little travel guide, but when you try to use it, you sound really silly. Another thing is not driving and still trying to get around the city and my little neighborhood and not that I was ever the majority in America, but in Korea I was really a minority and that was kind of difficult at first.”

When you left Korea what was the biggest thing that you took away from Korea, as far as your experience?

Basically, living in Korea is when I decided I wanted to join the State Department. So, it gave me a sense of purpose. I went to Korea wanting to challenge myself and discover new things about myself.  I think I realized that I was cut out for this type of lifestyle and I really wanted to live abroad as a career and find ways to make a difference in people’s lives in a non-traditional way. So, my biggest takeaway was building my confidence and feeling like I set out to do something, I accomplished it, and I have come out with a better sense of who I am and what I am capable of doing.”

Transition from Teacher to Consular Officer

Let’s talk now about you working for the Department of Defense State as a Foreign Service Officer

“I am a Consular Officer, and that basically means that I help out American citizens abroad.  As a Consular Officer we do immigrant and non-immigrant visas and then American citizen services, which is probably the biggest thing we do.

How did you actually get a State Department job?

It’s actually an interesting story. When I was living in Korea I was on my way to house warming party.  I’m standing in the middle of downtown Seoul and I have really no idea where I am going. All that I had was a sheet of paper with some directions and I was about to take a bus when  I see this other black woman on the bus stop. I’m kind of looking at her and I am thinking, “She’s black and I am black and she is probably a teacher too.” Well, it turns out she is not a teacher, she actually worked for the U.S. Embassy there, and ironically we were both going to the same party. So, we became friends and through her guidance I applied for something called the, “Rangel Fellowship,” which is a program that really seeks out talented minority students for the Foreign Service, and it has a sister fellowship that does that same thing called the , “Pickering Fellowship”. I applied for that and it was a lot of hard work, and luck and really great people and mentoring and some disappointment, but I got it and it set me on a path to go to the Foreign Service.

So, did you still have to take the Foreign Service Exam?

“Yes, the program basically sends you to graduate school and you have to study International Affairs., You do that for two years, complete two internships, take the Foreign Service officer exam (both the written and then the oral assessment), and then once you graduate ,you can join the Foreign Service.”

What is the biggest difference, and I know it’s a BIG difference, between when you were traveling and living abroad as a teacher and now, traveling and living as a Foreign Service officer?

“This is like my dream job and so that to me is worth giving up a sense of privacy.”

It’s totally different. When you are a regular Joe Smoe traveling around, you have a lot more leeway with your private and personal life, but now that I am with the State Department, you know you are never really off duty. The things that you say and do, people are watching you. Even in our training they tell us “You are the face of the government all the time and you really have to be careful.” It is a different level of responsibility to be the face, the eyes and ears of the President and the Secretary of State and at end of the day the American people. It’s really a very humbling and daunting challenge, but I guess the trade of f is that I am doing my dream work. This is my dream job and so that to me is worth giving up a sense of privacy.”

Did you ever foresee this coming? Had you not had the chance encounter with the young lady on the bus stop, do you still think that this would have happened for you, being in your dream job?  Do you think you would have followed down this path anyways?

“I would like to think I would have ended up on this path anyways. As I was preparing to leave Korea I was studying for the GRE’s and I knew I wanted to go into International Relations. State Department was at the top of that list, but I also knew that it was a really difficult thing to do, and it’s hard to get into. So, I was trying to build up my skills and my resume so that I could be a good candidate. It might have taken longer, that’s for sure, but I think eventually I would have ended up in this career.”

What are the benefits of actually working for the State Department?

“Oh, there are so many. I’m still pretty early on in my career, but first of all your co-workers are all these really smart people, really fun to work with, and to m e that makes all the difference in the world. It doesn’t really matter what you are doing usually, if you work with people that you like that makes your job better. So, all of my co-workers are pretty ambitious and they speak many different languages, they are traveled and we already come from a place of common ground. That is definitely a great benefit for me, being able to just relate to people off jump.

“I ended up in Barbados for my first tour, but next I could be in Russia or Venezuela. I like the fact that I get to move and do a totally different job every two years.”

The other benefit is that you are living abroad, and there is something for everyone out there. I ended up in Barbados for my first tour, but next I could be in Russia or Venezuela. I like the fact that I get to move and do a totally different job every two years. For me, that is exactly what I need, because after about two years I am antsy and ready to see something new. And then of course, there are the perks of them covering your housing. So, that is something you don’t have to worry about being abroad. Also, the money is good, you get to do work that is making a difference every single day, and that may sound really cheesy, but it’s nice to see that. Because I have been in jobs before that I really didn’t see that, and it makes a difference. “

Great, that brings me to this question; did you actually enjoy teaching when you were living in Korea?

Actually, I really did. Of course, I had days when I was not the best teacher and I know I struggled, but I really loved my kids. I actually have pictures of them hanging on my refrigerator now, because they really made my life interesting and exciting. I got to work with kindergarten all the way to high school kids, and they were all really sweet. I always said, “Even the bad kids in Korea are still really good kids.” So, I enjoyed teaching and I think it would be good, maybe when I am older.  I wish I had known a little more about teaching, I took a 6 month TESOL course, which did an okay job, but doesn’t really prepare you for when you are in front of students. But I loved teaching and I’d do it again. “

What advice would you give another young lady who is trying to make a decision to go abroad, based on your experience, what would you tell them?

If someone is on the fence on whether to do something or not. Well, this is kind of going to sound reckless, but I would say, “Just do it!” Because whatever is holding you back from doing it, probably feels much scarier in your head, what you built up something to be, usually it’s not as bad as you think it is. The mind is so powerful, and you can search the internet and be looking at pictures, listening to stories and reading blogs and whatever. You’re trying to piece together what you think this place is like, but truthfully you’re not getting the full picture. You are only getting snippets. So, if you are on the fence about going, then you just have to do it. Because if I let what people were saying about Korea stop me from going, like i.e. they don’t like black people, you are going to have a terrible time, or you can’t date there as a black women. All of these things that you hear will prevent you from going and experiencing it for yourself.”

What advice would you give to someone who is teaching and is content, but not actually following their passion at this time, but would like to be in their dream job? 

I would say to really reach out to people who are doing what you think you want to be doing. What really matters is making connections. So, if you know someone, have a friend of a friend, or there’s a forum, such as, Women of Color Living Abroad, then make connections. For one, that provides motivation for you to do what you want to and maybe step out and take that risk, and two it keeps you connected to what is happening in that industry. So, if you want to be a Master Scuba Diver, then get on a forum and talk to people who are doing what you want to do. I can’t stress that enough. It is really important that you maintain contact and connections with people who are doing things that you want to do. So, throughout my travels I would talk to people and ask them, “What are you doing, what do you want to do, do you know about this, or can you tell me about that?” I think you have to just stay inquisitive and stay connected to your passion even if you are not doing what is your passion from day to day.”

What are three adjectives that you would use to describe your Expat Experience?

“Comical- I have some funny stories living abroad, dynamic, and exhilarating”

Ok, finish this sentence. Living abroad has…

“Living abroad has been the best decision I have ever made.”

I’m Homesick, Well Maybe Just Sick Away From Home

May 2012—Cha Jones

picture from wisegeek.com

Is there anyone feeling the “I miss home blues? “  If you are a newbie to expat living, then that can be expected. However, I would venture to say that even those of us with a few years of jet stream drifting behind our journeys can identify with the feeling as well.

Expat living can be exciting and challenging all wrapped up in a pretty little luggage.  But as we all know, some of the best luggage can be misdirected from time to time, especially on an international flight! And if you are traveling solo thousands of miles away from home it can become very overwhelming and the adjustment may take some getting used to. So, here is some advice that I hope can assist you when you are having one of those, “Why the hell am I doing this again?” moments.

I would first like to say that being homesick doesn’t make you any less fit for the journey; it just means that you miss home. However, it’s not the time to pack your bags and return, but rather a good time for you to find comfort in searching your soul. Most likely when you are experiencing being homesick you are feeling the disconnection of your extension to your family, friends and familiar environment. But if you find ways to extend home into your new environment, then most likely this will ease your feelings of being homesick and you can get back to the business of expat living. 

 When the excitement has worn…

picture from google images 

Get connected

It’s easy to be excited about the new trip or journey when you are preparing, but what happens when all the newness wears off and you are in your new environment wishing for the old? Well, it’s time to find some happiness right where you are. Maybe you meet some people who like to do some of the same things you like to do, or maybe you find another expat in your area who can at least understand being away from home. Look up www.meetup.com, it’s a great way to get connected to people in your area that have similar interest.  I am sure there are other ways to meet expats and natives that share your interest, you just have to ask the Universe to send you signs (newspapers, commercials, or a little eavesdrop on a conversation), and you know Google is always your friend in times like this, too. Google knows you better than your mother, I’m just saying.

picture from Huffpost Tech

Skype

One of the first things we miss about home are the people in our lives. You begin thinking back on what you use to do or you visit the calendar and realize you’re missing something that is going on at home, but the reality is you aren’t in Kansas anymore (or wherever you are from Dorothy).

First, stop making yourself miserable thinking about things that can’t be changed. If you miss the people that you adore back at home make time to video call them. It may require that you stay up later or get up earlier, but that is the price you pay to see the people that you love. If you are missing a big event at home such as a wedding or birth, then ask your family or friends to Skype you in, most places have wifi now days. You may have to think out the box and get the people at home to think out the box as well.  However, I’m sure that you seeing the birth of you new niece or nephew will be worth all the hassle it took to Skype you in.

Familiarity

The next thing that makes people homesick is the lack of having things around them that give them a sense of familiarity. Maybe you miss driving your car, taking a bathtub, the ease of grocery shopping or going to a hair stylist. For me, it was a lack of having a normal (American) shower that made me miss home on a daily bases, but I learned to come up with a system to cope with my shower blues. However, something as simple as not having a bathtub or a normal shower can send you into emotional panic on that one day that you really wished you could be home. So, try to find something that can take the place of the thing you long for, that could be difficult, but it’s worth trying.

Now, you may not be able to replace something like a bathtub, but you can come up with a new way of using what you have and creating a whole new experience. If you want some familiar food, then you may have to find something that is totally different but made in the same or a similar way. Remember, you mostly likely moved abroad because you wanted to have a change, so take this time to do so and start creating a new experience.

picture from google images

Perspective

“When you can change the way you look at a thing, the thing you are looking at changes.” —Wayne Dyer

Sometimes we find ourselves homesick because we or attracting negative things into our lives through a negative outlook. We arrived on our new journey all excited and ready to take on the great experiences that came along with moving abroad. However, now we find ourselves homesick because we walked into a store with an, “I can’t find anything” attitude. How is that you can’t find anything when you are in a store with thousands of items? What you meant was, you can’t find anything that meets your requirements, but there are several things in the store for you to find if you change how you see things. I know how it feels to have an expectation, especially on the day when you woke up and wanted a nice American (or whatever your home country would be) style breakfast, and you have no means of actually making that happen. But look on the bright side; you can still have something wonderful to eat even if it’s not what you desire to have.  Sometimes we make ourselves homesick when you think about or dwell on things that we can’t change, and all we have to do is change how we are perceiving things and the things we are experiencing changes.

The journey is to be traveled…

Don’t let being homesick ruin the journey. It’s normal and happens to the best of us, but the best way to fight through it is to find the excitement again and live there. Being homesick will come and go, and in time it happens less and less, especially when you get into a routine and find friends and extended family where you are. We all deal with our experiences of being homesick a little different, but remember that no matter what you are dealing with, “This too shall pass!” So, enjoy the journey and learn to be in the NOW of every experience, and home will start to look like the place you are in. 

Other links to articles that may help:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2330049_beat-homesickness-living-abroad-extended.html

http://www.diversityabroad.com/culture-shock?option=com_spages&view=404page&Itemid=0

http://www.womanseeksworld.com/8-ways-to-cure-homesickness-while-abroad/

The Novelty of Being a Waygookin (Foreigner) in Korea

 By Nicole Brewer

I’ve managed to have many first in Korea after living here for over three years.  The first time I road a horse was on Jeju island; my first time staying in a temple; my first time attending an international World Championship match.  Well I recently added a new first to my ever-extending list: my first time playing a role in a music video! Yeah, you read that right. I’m now a video chick, nonetheless a classy one as I played a jazzy type singer singing the chorus to a Korean rapper’s song entitled Rain by Masstige. 

So I know you’re wondering, how did that come about? I’m apart of a really cool group here in Korea called the Brothers and Sisters of South Korea. Brothers and Sisters of South Korea (BSSK) is a resourceful group on facebook for those looking to network with other minorities or learn about the experience of living in Korea.  One day while at work killing time in between classes I scrolled through the newsfeed of BSSK to find a posting by a Korean film student looking for a Black lady to cast in the video of a Korean rapper that lived in Busan, my Korean hometown.  As a hip hop head I was intrigued.  

On the set of Korean rapper Masstige video for a song entitled "Rain."

The only prerequisite was to be a Black woman. No dancing, singing or Korean skills applied. He thought that a Black woman would fit perfectly for the cinematography of the video. I shoot him an email displaying my interest and the rest is history. I had fun chatting it up with some of the others on the set of Club Fabric (who will be hosting the “Attack on Busan” hip hop invasion night soon) in Busan. One Korean actor asked me if I spoke Korean. I said chocum which means a little in Korean. I asked, do you speak English and he waved his hands feverishly saying no, no. However, he managed to tell me who his favorite hip hop artist are such as DMX, Tupac and Biggie. We managed to discuss the universal language of music.

Now there was some debate and speculation amongst some of the group members of BSSK.  Why is he looking for a Black women? What’s up with this strange request, etc were some of the things I heard.  Well, me being the curious bee that I am followed up, nothing lost right.  Ironically enough many group members had an e-debate on a thread recently about the lack of representation of Black women in big K-pop stars videos, especially considering how many of them are influenced by Black or African American artist. My love Rain (Bi), in all of his ninja assassin glory, admitted that Usher is his idol. We don’t hear too many of those admissions here in Korea. 

In my time in Korea I am often approached by random Koreans with interesting, slightly strange request at times.  I don’t know if I just have an open, approachable face or not but I think it’s the waygook effect.  A couple of weeks ago while sitting in the café on the University campus where the high school I work at is located, I was approached by two Korean college students.  They wanted to film me while they did a magic trick. In his broken English, he said “we need to use foreigner”.  It was their lucky day to come across me while I took in my rich café mocha latte.  I went ahead with their request, why not? Nothing lost again right it was enjoyable to be entertained. 

Not all of my experiences as a foreigner in Korea are pleasurable.  You will come across the random stares (esp. in my case as a 5’10 African American women not too many of us tall beauties walking around), snarls and more especially from some of the older Koreans that are stuck in their train of thought of keeping Korea a “one blood” nation.  It is still quite a homogenous society but I like to think with some of these small feats that I’m managing to help change this mentality. 

Picture courtesy of Mannam International Volunteer association.

Another interesting experience I had while walking on the glorious beauty of Haeundae beach was being approached by a few Koreans that were interested in talking to me.  They were apart of a volunteer group called Mannam that actively recruits foreigners in Korea to partake in activities such as free Korean classes, sports teams, marathons for charity and more. She really peaked my interest at the mention of a cooking class as I’ve had the desire to learn how to cook Korean food. 

I’ll be attending a meet and greet at a dinner in the near future with the chef for the class. I shall “move with caution” as my Korean co-teacher said when I mentioned it to her. Her first thought was oh no, they may be a religious group that will try to convert you ha.  My advice to those that are in Korea or any other foreign land is to really allow yourself to immerse into the culture.  I’m a firm believer that you get back to you the energy that you put out. Therefore keep it light hearted, fun and enjoyable and you will get this back to you. 

Telling an American You Love Them is a Turn Off

By: Meisha

So against my better judgment I decided to enter (well tiptoe) into the world of dating in South Africa.*  I arrived in South Africa with the intention of not dating anyone during my time here and using this as a period to “cleanse.” Repeated conversations with South African women about the infidelity of South African men, coupled with the fact that the average marrying age here is (I am guessing) 25 so there is a lack of eligible bachelors over 30 and the popularity of beer being apparent in the vast array of male protruding bellies, all served as a confirmation for me to stay far away from dating.  However, after repeated prodding from my coworkers to be more open minded I decided to at least give one of my would be suitors a chance.

I actually enjoyed myself on both of the dates I went on and thoroughly appreciated how chivalrous they both were.  It’s the aftermath of those dates that has me retreating for the hills.  One of my dates, repeatedly told me how much he loved me and was going to marry me at the end of our date. Following my other date, my would be suitor emailed me once, SMS me three times, and called me 5 times all in the next day. 

I did speak to my “I love you” date and tried to explain to him that he doesn’t know me so he can’t possibly love me.  He is francophone and explained that in French there isn’t a word for “like” just “love.” That there are varying degrees of love and his love for me was small but growing every second.  Needless to say this didn’t change my perspective. 

So being the cultural ambassador that I am, I then proceeded to try and explain my culture, particularly in regards to dating, to him. One of the great things about living in another culture is it gives you the unique opportunity to externally view your own culture. I was quite taking aback as I listened to my description of dating in America.  Here is some of what I shared:

• Telling an American when you first meet them and don’t know them that you love them is a turn off. 
• Americans are naturally distrustful.  We believe that trust is earned not given.  As such, we are guarded in our interactions and relationships until we feel that someone is trustworthy.  In dating, this also manifests itself by not initially divulging your feelings, and most of the times not fully sharing your feelings until you know that the other person shares similar feelings.
• We are an individualistic society so we like personal space figuratively and literally.
• Dating in the U.S. is a game.  Sort of like “cat and mouse.”

I discussed my dating predicament with a stateside friend.  We both agreed that first and foremost stalking isn’t sexy! Secondly, though we both had to admit that as much as say we are over the games, we actually somewhat like and need some game.  It’s boring to have everything so easily accessible--nothing to work for.  I want to be chased or courted. I need a little swag.  Telling me to take your number after only saying hi and you want to be my friend is not appealing. I don’t need to know everything you are thinking.  Leave some things to the imagination or for me to guess or at least learn over time.

I also further reflected and realized that I am a Northeast Black American female and I like a well-groomed man that keeps a brush in his car and has a perfect hairline.  Someone who spent time picking out his wardrobe, that can wear a suit and owns multiple suits, and that has a collection of nice smelling colognes, but a signature scent that is all his own.  I also appreciate a scholared (yeah I know its not a real word but just go with it) dude that I can discuss everything from politics to pop culture with.

All in all I realized that I am pretty brainwashed and screwed up in the head. Also, since neither of the guys I went out with were South African, I asked around and found that my experiences are not necessarily indicative of South African men, but I still think I am good on dating in South Africa or at least in my “developed village.” 

Ladies let me know though if I am way off base, just plain crazy or if you have had similar experiences.

* Disclaimer: I am hoping and believing that dating in a city, like Joburg, would be closer to my experiences in the States but alas I live in a rural village/town.  Also, I should divulge that both of the dates I went on were with non-South African men, so maybe my experiences were more reflective of the continent then this country!

What's Your Footprint?

By: Brittany S

Not all prints wash away as easily as these.

Just as you get country stamps in your passport, the country will inherit your footprint.  I don’t mean this literally, although you will do your share of walking.  What impression will you leave behind?  Although you are on vacation, you are visiting someone’s home and your choices will often impact their (and your) beliefs and actions.  So here are a couple of things to consider increasing the chances of your vacation being pleasant for both you and the locals.

Respect the Culture:  Three American Girls Head to France

Girl A studied French before the visit and was able to have basic conversations and read signs in French to help her get around.  She was able to take the metro and when she was lost or needed to find the restroom, communicate her thoughts in French.  If the locals knew English, they pleasantly responded to her in English.  If not, they were patient with her French.  She found the French to be very friendly throughout Paris and hopes to return one day.

Girls B & C didn’t study French and were advised by Girl A to at least learn how to say “Hello” “Thank you.” “English?” and “Sorry.” if nothing else.  She offered to write these phrases and the translation for them but they declined and said they’ll be fine.  When they went to the metro, the attendant only spoke French and they couldn’t read the machine to buy their own ticket (even though there was a button to change it to English, they didn’t know the French word for it).  Annoyed, they walked out and headed to something American: McDonalds.  When they tried to order, the young girl didn’t understand them and they became very impatient.  Completely irritated, the girls grabbed their food and flagged down a taxi.  They instructed the driver to take them to their hotel (in English) and the driver deliberately overcharged them.  When they refused to pay they started yelling at him (in English) and he slapped one in the face and pulled the other’s hair.  Defeated, they paid, hopped out in tears, and vowed never to return to France again.  After all, they heard the French were rude anyway.

I had a BLAST! Can't wait to return...

Extreme?  Well, this actually happened.  I’m Girl A.  I studied French in school, but didn’t know much.  What I did know was French culture.  I knew a lot of French people are really annoyed with foreigners, especially Americans, expecting everyone to speak English.  Sometimes they refuse to speak English to you if they know it, and other times they are rude in return like this taxi driver.  The two girls refused my help and spoke 100% English the entire time.  Each encounter they had made the French person(s) uncomfortable to say the least.  So now those people they met may have a resonating belief that Americans are arrogant and rude and the two girls feel the same about them.  In reality, not everyone is like that, but those people will tell others of their encounters and the negative feelings toward the other group will spread and solidify.

Respect the People: Two Black Girls Go to Korea

A group goes to Korea to teach English as a second language for a month.  Koreans’ views on Black people range from them wanting us to leave their country all the way up to wanting to copy our style of art, music, and fashion.  Somewhere in the middle lies a fear and/or curiosity of the unknown (in this case, the Black person).  Both girls received a brief orientation of Korean history, culture, and customs, particularly how it pertains to foreigners.

Girl A decided she shouldn’t have to change who she is just because she’s in Korea.  Why should she have to bend to the will of the group?  Whenever an older Korean woman kindly asked her to be quiet on the bus (as most Koreans travel in silence), she rolled her eyes at the woman and continued talking, remarking that the woman only told her to be quiet because she is Black.  Whenever she would catch children staring at her, she would shoot them a mean look and they would quickly turn around and hide their faces.  About a week later, she contracted H1N1 (“swine flu”) and was quarantined.

When you're open, random (cool) stuff happens to you.

Girl B embraced the “when in Rome” mentality but acknowledged that even Rome fell.  She'd do things the Korean way, as long as it didn’t change who she was at the very core.  She understood children weren’t trying to be insulting when they called her a man (because of her short hair) or asked if she was dirty (they'd never seen someone so dark before so they thought it was unnatural).  She had fun sharing naïve moments with adults and happy that she could serve as a teacher for the curious youth.  Even though one of her roommates (and some of her friends) contracted H1N1, she didn't.  She returned to Korea years later to teach full-time.

Ok, so I know this story was a bit over the top, and no, I am not suggesting that if you are rude to elderly people on buses you will contract H1N1, I just wanted to make the story dramatic, but again, this is a true story.  I’m Girl B and I came to Korea to work for a summer camp with 69 other teachers.  We knew very little about Korean culture so they briefed us.  Some were unhappy with what we learned and deemed some things unacceptable (and as something they will completely disregard).  Others felt things may not have been ideal, but at least tried to discern why things are that way in order to best combat them.  As with any people, if you are not exposed to others, you will only know what you encounter in media.  Particularly in rural Korea, there are many people who have never left their province.  As far as foreigners are concerned, most don’t exactly fly 15+ hours to visit a Korean rice field, so these Koreans never see them.  During our orientation, we experienced an H1N1 outbreak and a lot of teachers contracted it.

Bottom Line: When you travel, please remember that YOU made the choice to visit that place.  No one is twisting your arm saying “Come to my country and force your country’s ways on it.”  History has shown us how that has go horribly wrong time and time again.  However, just because you visit another place doesn’t mean you should not be yourself.  You can still be yourself and be respectful of others.  If you feel too strongly about the host country’s requests of its visitors, please choose another country.  You’ll enjoy yourself so much more if you are somewhere you feel unrestricted.

When we go to different countries, we are a representation of our country, race, gender, and/or culture to everyone from the little girl on the bus to the government.  It works both ways.  What you see and who you meet will greatly shape your opinion of the place and its people.  These opinions that you will form of each other will shape future interactions.  So if you insist on going to a particular country, you may have to compromise a little on some things.  It’s usually nothing major, just something different.  After all, how horrible is it to be silent in a silent bus?  Tread softly. :-)