Traveling Sucks (Yeah, I Said It)

By Rukiya McNair

Photo.

I miss my husband. As I am here in Puerto Rico enjoying the sunshine (see photo), he is in a war zone everyday… working away. Having two small children does make it a bit better, as I always have company and for the most part they are a joy to be around. Missing him also makes me think about some of the things that travel has forced me to miss out on.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, travel has changed my life and opened my eyes to life in a way that I can’t describe in words but it does also have its downfalls.

For instance, friendships have been formed in every place I have  traveled to, and I mean real friendships. So, moving away is hard when you realize years down the road that the people who mean the most to you are often spread out across the globe.  On one hand, this great because you always have people to go visit, but on a day-to-day basis this can make things quite lonely.  Although, I can say that I am grateful for technology which makes it much easier to communicate now-a-days. So I suppose I should be thankful right?

Something else I have realized, as I have packed up and moved around more than most people I know, is that being attached to material possessions is a waste of energy and time. You know that lovely broach your grandmother gave you for your fifth birthday or that necklace that’s been passed down in your family for generations? Leave it with someone you trust or simply prepare yourself for the reality that it will get broken, stolen, or lost…or some combination of the three.  At this point, I have managed to program myself to not become attached to anything that can’t love me back. Be aware that luggage does get lost, delayed and stolen. Understand that when you leave items at a hotel, they typically don’t call you to say they have it, especially if it’s of value. Yes, people do pick-pocket, this is something your typical American is not accustomed to, but it happens (in some places, it happens rather often). Left your cell phone in a taxi after a fun and long night out? Kiss it goodbye.  Ipods, purses, wallets…anything you can think of can and more than likely will turn up missing if you travel enough. Just be thankful for your health and keep it moving.

A bit of advice I do have is that when you take photos, upload them to a website, internet storage, your email or somewhere you can find them in the case that your camera and/or laptop breaks or disappears. I mean, one thing you don’t want to lose is all of the beautiful photos you have taken along the way, right?

Okay, so now that I've officially scared you off (I'm joking, if you're reading this I know it can't be that easy) let it be known that traveling and living abroad is not for the faint for heart. It will, however change your life for the better and you will belong to one of the best clubs around. 

'Till Death Do Us Part

By Rukiya McNair

Terima Kasih. Salamat Pagi.  Apa Kabar?

These are only a few the phrases that were part of my world in 2007. It was me and Jakarta, Indonesia for one year…for better or for worse. I quit my job, left the man I was dating,  voluntarily had my car repossessed, as I couldn’t find a buyer for my pride and joy, sold everything I could…old, new, cherished…it was all posted on Craigslist. I spent my last paycheck on my plane ticket, and headed to my parents’ house for a few weeks until my departure. I didn't know it then, but I officially married the travel game that year. Yes, it goes by many different names-- jet life, wanderlust, nomadic lifestyle, or even just plain ol’ traveling-- all I knew was I was o-u-t. Something was calling me…calling me to fulfill this overwhelming need to experience the beauty of the world first-hand. I left the States with an all or nothing attitude, quitting (i.e. running back home) was not an option for me, I had given up too much.  

For Better

There is so much good in Indonesia; there is even a small amount of good in Jakarta.  I met amazing people from all over world, developed a true love for teaching, ate the most delicious food I have ever tasted (well, except for my mother’s macaroni and cheese…nothing beats that), saw volcanoes, monkeys, experienced Chinese New Year and Ramadan in a Muslim country for the first time. It was beautiful.

 I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the more materialistic and consumer-oriented side of Jakarta as well.  I’m talking about a place where women dress up in heels and skirts just to go to the mall, and wear cocktail dresses and heels to go out at night. I truly loved how women in Jakarta embraced their femininity to the fullest; it was re-assuring for an independent, jean-loving American gal. The nightlife was amazing with everything from ultra-posh nightclubs to Jalan Jaksa, where you have your cheaper bars and a more backpacking and traveling crowd.

For Worse

As with most places when a newcomer arrives, people are interested. They want to know, who is this person? Where do they come from? Or sometimes people simply haven’t seen a Black person in real life until…me. Yes, for an American it’s a strange concept, that someone can go their entire life without seeing a person of African descent, like…in person. In Jakarta, Indonesia my reality was stares, some interested and some disgusted. The color of my skin seemed to be clearly offensive to some, while others seemed to embrace it just as I do. I was thrown out of a bar on Jalan Jaksa as soon as I walked in, yes it’s true, because I am Black. I have had a parent and child look at me, point and say “Orang hitam!” meaning, “Black person!” Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, but when anyone points at you from across a room it’s a bit unnerving.

Also, how could I forget the air pollution, trash that could be found piled up just about anywhere on the streets and in parking lots, walking down the street having strangers yell,"Hello mister!" as I passed by, dishonest and untrustworthy taxi drivers, dishonest and untrustworthy police officers...

Indonesia was not the only place I had been nor was it the last stop. As a matter of fact, I’ll more than likely be going back. There is so much to see and experience in Indonesia, I feel like I need to see more, and I will.  On this journey around the world and in life I’m looking forward to experiencing everything that each new country, city and town has to offer. The good, the bad and the ugly.  All of it. There is beauty in every last bit.

‘Till death do us part…the world and I. 

Beware of the Monkeys

Beware of the Monkeys

January, 2012 —Cha Jones

Cute, adorable, and curious are all adjectives that I think of when I envision a monkey.  However, on my recent trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia a friend and I found the use of another adjective — Gangster. Yes, I said gangster. The monkeys that are running freely near the Batu Caves are indeed what you can call gangster.

First, let me describe gangster so that we are all on the same page; tough, rugged, bullies, and criminal are all words that would define gangster in this blog—proceed with caution.

The Batu Caves

When visiting Malaysia, the Batu Caves are one of KL’s (Kuala Lumpur) must see attractions. Just outside of the entrance you will find a huge statue of Lord Murugan, the Hindu God of War. This gold plated statue is beautiful and is actually the largest statue of its kind in the world. Just to left of the statue there are 227 steps which lead you to the entrance of the cave. 

As you walk up the flight of stairs you will see many people, both tourist and Hindu’s who are going to worship. You will also most likely be joined by few monkeys who freely wander up and down the stairs. However, as friendly as they may seem I would strongly suggest that you keep in mind that they are still considered wild animals and you should —beware.

To keep the Gatorade or not, that it’s the question?

After entering the Batu Caves and enjoying the smell of the beautiful aroma of many different incents and walking through one of the most serene and majestic atmospheres in the world we took a few steps out of the cave and met a nice looking male monkey, or at least what we thought to be a nice male monkey.

My friend had just purchased a cold bottle of Gatorade from the souvenir shop at the entrance to the cave, and we were both exiting the cave when the monkey walks between the two of us and demands her Gatorade. “Excuse me,” he infers reaching for the Gatorade from her hands. However, after tracking up 272 flights of stairs and then walking through the cave she was tired, hot and not about to share, at least I’m thinking that is what she thought. The monkey was not about the monkey business today. In fact, he was very serious, he reached to take the drink and just as she pulled back. Next, all I saw were teeth, which was my clue to mind my own business and proceed down the stairs, “We both shouldn’t get bit, right?”

This monkey was definitely not named “George” although he was very curious about why my friend had decided to pour her drink on the stairs in an attempt to share her libations with him, he was in no way the cute and cuddly type.  After, he kindly gave her a look that explained to her  he was indeed a monkey and not a cat, the Hindu God’s came to her assistance and kindly produced an empty Gatorade bottle on the stairs near the two of them. She picked it up and poured the monkey a portion. He then reached up and without any words of gratitude, jumped up on the rail and over to the other steps taking the drink straight to the head— so GANGSTER!

So, for those of you who plan to take an adventure to Malaysia and want to go to the Batu Caves, I would suggest that you—beware of the monkeys. 

The Batu Cave monkeys look cute and for the most part they mind their own business, that is unless you have something that they may want and/or think they need. I would also caution you from taking pictures were the monkeys can see their own reflection, they reportedly don’t like that. It is also been suggested that you don’t attempt to freely feed the monkeys as you may be attacked, and remember, even though you only see one monkey, they do travel in packs. The Batu Cave monkeys are cute and even seem to be cuddly, but beware they are gangster and you have warned! 

Lileko Lishomwa

English Instructor

November 16, 2011

"I have this skill, I have a degree and I have the right passport, and that’s all you need." 

I had the pleasure of doing my very first interview for Women of Color Living Abroad with New Zeal native Lileko Lishmwa.

Lileko came into this world prepared to travel. She received her passport as a baby and can’t remember when she first began traveling.  She took her very first trip abroad on her own when she assisted some friends with a move to Australia from New Zealand.

Lileko is currently living and working is South Korea. She is a professor at Hanseo University, which is located in Chungcheon Province about an hour and a half SW of Seoul. Lileko has been living in Korea for the past three years. However, Korea was not her launching pad for living abroad; she actually lived in Perth, Australia after graduate school. For those of you who are like me and have no idea where Perth is, it is in Western Australia. Perth is actually the capital and the largest city in the Australian state of Western Australia and the fourth most populous city in Australia. (www.wikipedia.com)

A real free-spirited nomadic chic, Lileko left stability to enjoy the fancy free lifestyle of an English teacher. Here is the interview.

The Interview:

Women of Color Living Abroad: What about living abroad interested you?

Lileko: It really is about seeing other things. I have no interest in having a mortgage lifestyle. That is what many of my friends are doing at this stage, but I have no real interest in that at this time in my life. I like that I can just get up and go, and I am not tied down. If I have the time and I want to go to China I can just say, “Let’s do it.” There is so much flexibility in my life.  You don’t have that when you have a mortgaged lifestyle.  Also, there are the people. I won’t say were all like minded, because some are not, but you just meet so many different people. There are people who I wouldn’t even be friends by choice with at home, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but it is nice that I get to meet people I wouldn’t otherwise meet.

Women of Color Living Abroad: Can you describe how you felt when you first moved abroad, did you have any anxiety?

Lileko: (Laughing) It was when I moved to Perth in Australia. Yes, because I was trying to finish my thesis, move out of my flat (an apartment), and my dad was giving me grief. It was full of stress at the time and all I wanted to do was move to a warmer climate.  It was stressful, and even though it was like what you would consider moving from the US to Canada, no big difference and not that exciting, some things are a little different and actually annoying, but it was the packing that got me. I didn’t know what to take. 

Women of Color Living Abroad: What is the one thing that is really, really important that you would tell someone else thinking about living abroad?

Lileko: Do it! Honestly just do it, because the mortgage is going to be there when you get back, and if you have the opportunity, why on earth not? These contracts are only a year long. What’s a year? Just go and do it. You don’t even know what you’re missing out on; you have no idea until you’re here.  

Women of Color Living Abroad: What is the most challenging thing about living abroad?

Lileko: I don’t know the language, and choosing to live in the country means that you don’t have access to cheese. You have to go hunting for cheese, or at least that’s what it feels like. You have to track 2 hours to Seoul just to get some cheese. But the most challenging thing, with other than finding food, is not knowing the language. However, I definitely have had it worst living in more rural parts of the country.

Women of Color Living Abroad: What made you decide to come to Korea?

Lileko: When the economy went kaput I didn’t have a job in Perth. So, I said, “What else could I do?”  So, I googled jobs and found information on teaching in Korea. Korea was one of the only countries that didn’t require you to have a CELT or TESOL, so that’s why, because I didn’t have one of those certifications, and I didn’t really want to get one.

Women of Color Living Abroad: What made you want to be a teacher living abroad?

Lileko: Honestly, it was a prayer, because I would be in a different place if I were still living in Perth. Because all the places just stopped hiring, it was at the end of my contract and I thought, “I think I’ll find something.” Then a couple of months went by and I knew I had to get serious, I had to do something else, and I was thinking, “What can I do, really, what can I do?” I have this skill, I have a degree and I have the right passport, and that’s all you need.

Women of Color Living Abroad: What’s the biggest thing that you miss about living at home in New Zealand?

Lileko: I think the biggest thing that I miss about living back in New Zeal is the convenience. I live in a small town, and everything is a ten minute drive. If I had that now would be gorgeous. Oh, and of course the food. Umm, I would say a real size refrigerator with food. (Laughing)

Women of Color Living Abroad: Is there something that you realized about yourself, sort of an Aha! Moment, where you really came to understand yourself after you had moved and began living abroad? 

Lileko: Umm…maybe how lucky I have been. When I was like younger, maybe high school or university or even younger than that, I had gone on heaps of holidays compared to my friends. I don’t think its heaps because to me it’s just normal. But compared to meeting people here (in Korea) who get excited about being able to travel during vacation to places like China or Malaysia, then I guess it would be heaps. It amazes me because most of these people have only been on a plane internationally to come to Korea. So, they don’t know anything about anything, and yet I think some things are quite simple. You can do most arranging yourself online and you don’t need a travel agency, unless you choose to have one, which can be headache in and of itself. Just knowing things like that, which are rather simple to me, I’ve taken that for granted. So, I guess I am quite grateful for that. I had never really thought that before, and I certainly haven’t bothered to tell my mum that either.

Women of Color Living Abroad: Has anything changed in your life, maybe your thoughts or lifestyle, because you live abroad?

Lileko: Absolutely, I was thinking very seriously, kind of still am, about moving back to Australia, but Sydney this time. I know that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to travel, at least, as much because of work.   So, it’s easy to just go ahead and carry on.  I don’t know the answer to that and I don’t know if I should take the plunge or go backwards. I don’t know, and I think that is what has changed. Because now, I really enjoy this and there are some really good things about being away, the teaching and flexible hours, are nice too.

Women of Color Living Abroad: So, are totally happy being free and kind of nomadic?

Lileko: At the moment, yes, it might change, it might not. At the moment I’m in a bit of a sex drought and it’s terrible, but it’s going to be remedied. When I think about my other friends at home, they are in their little droughts too, but mines not going to that last long because I’m in Korea and it’s easy. (Laughing) So, that’s part of it. But I don’t desire, in Korea, living in the country to be in a relationship because I don’t want to travel to go and see a person, and I certainly don’t want them to come see me living in this square box.

Women of Color Living Abroad: So, is it safe to say you have a better sex life or a better chance at having a relationship living in Korea?

Lileko: I think of the few friends who are still single living in Australia or living in London, because those are the common places for graduates to live coming from New Zealand. Umm, yeah they don’t go out as much as we do here in Korea.  Either they can’t afford it or it’s not as nice. Think about it, you can just run up to Seoul and run amuck and its fine. I don’t know, looking for a relationship in Korea, besides the travel, I think it would be hard work and what if he came from a different country, let’s say I met an American chap, even if it went fantastically, I’ve got to be realistic at the end of it. Then what? Yeah, there are some success stories and some people make it work, but it’s just …umm…no, it’s a bit more effort than I even want to put in now. 

Women of Color Living Abroad: What was the best adjustment that you had to make when moving abroad?

Lileko: Umm… despite the fact that I still complain, complaining about things that I just can't change is useless. You have to realize that some things just are.  You have to be the one to adjust to these things. I think it took these three years here to deal with that. I complained about anything when living in Perth, but now it’s ok. It’s just adjusting to new things, I think.

Women of Color Living Abroad: Ok, give me three adjectives that would describe your Expat experience.

•          Incredible
•          Awesome
•         Amazing   

Women of Color Living Abroad: Are you living your dream, your passion or purpose in life?

Lileko: Umm…yes and no, because I have always traveled my whole life, I love that part, definitely. If anybody asked me, “What is it that you love to do?” its travel and unfortunately I have that on my CV, which apparently is a bad thing, but I can’t help it, it’s what I like to do. Then I must say, if you look at what I do every day, I am not utilizing my brain. So, that side is really shit-ish, but I try to overcome it by taking correspondence courses through a university, and that has been really good. So it’s nice to do that to help myself. 

Women of Color Living Abroad: Finish this sentence, living abroad has…

Lileko: Living abroad has opened up some incredible windows in terms of how I see things, how I approach other people, and my attitude towards getting things done in a timely matter.

Women of Color Living Abroad: Thank you very much Lileko, for sharing your insight on living abroad and we applaud you for having the courage to do what you love with your mortgage free life-style.