“I Wish Things Were Like This At Home…”

By:  Brittany S

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.  How could I have been so naïve to that fact?

I just moved to a new city three weeks ago and I have a new “best friend”.  Now of course we aren’t true best friends—the type that go in each other’s fridges, know each other’s parents’ phone numbers, been each other’s wingman then shoulder to cry on after the breakup.  We’re not even the besties that use the bathroom and talk to each other while the other is in the shower (Too far?).

"You and me must ne-vah part...ma-tee-da-da."

But, if anyone knows what is going on with me and/or where I am, she does.

But how is this possible in such a short time?  Two words:  FOREIGNER FRIENDLY.  These words mean more to me than just that that locals welcome/embrace foreigners or that there is an English translation available.  It means when foreigner meets foreigner, we (generally) become really friendly!  Initially knowing our only commonalities to be English speaker and non-Korean, we are more willing to do a lot of things within the first 24-48 hours of “knowing” each other:

·         Exchange phone numbers

·         Add each other on social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc)

·         Tell each other where we work and live (and sometimes even give each other the key codes to get into each other’s apartment buildings/rooms) as well as how/why we are in Korea and where we are from

·         Go to each other’s apartments

·         Go to dinners, bowling parties, etc and not know a single person in attendance

·         Hug or have some other form of familial physical contact

·         Ask for and/or offer career advice

·         Give or loan goods and services

I don't even know them.  I invited them to sing w/us & they were HILARIOUS.  I don't think I would be so "friendly" in the middle of the night if we were stateside.

All of this is possible without even knowing each other’s last name!  It may seem as though these newly-formed relationships are superficial (and in some cases, they are), but we sincerely develop somewhat intimate relationships with each other in an astoundingly short time.  It’s human nature to seek out those who are similar to us.  Whether our similarities be along the lines of race, gender, sexuality, class, beliefs, etc, we feel most comfortable among our own.  Do you remember where you sat in the high school cafeteria?  The need to belong and be accepted is great among the human race and we thrive off of some kind of interaction with others.

Yea, I think it is a little like "Mean Girls"...even where you SIT determines sooo much about you smh.

In a country where English is not the native tongue, I’ve come to realize how important verbal communication is and isn’t at the same time.  It amazes me how my eyes would light up when I saw another foreigner walking the streets, as something as basic as being able to talk to them excited me.  If we ever had the chance to formally meet, we would have started to see a place in each other’s lives.  And yet, there are moments where all we share is a laugh and that's enough of a language to know what the other person wants to say.  But why can’t things be like this at home (in America)?

How many people in this picture do you think speak English?  I'll give you a hint, only the ones that look like me do.  We communicate with more than just vocabulary.

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.

At the risk of making us sound like participants in a salivating dog experiment, we are conditioned to think and behave in a certain way from birth.  The socialization in America is phenomenal.  I’m sure we can all think of people who vote Republican because their father does and that’s just “the way things are.”  Or the girl who won’t tell anyone she likes Winnie the Pooh because her friends said liking cartoon characters is for babies.  There is a suppressed personality inside of all of us; putting yourself in unfamiliar surroundings allows for it to come out.

When you get off the plane, you are filled with a spectrum of emotions and questions.  As time goes on, you start to balance out, but your personality and character exponentially develops.  Just in my brief stint abroad, I have seen/done/learned so much. (Click here to see a little more of my travel story!)  Some things are forever changed in me.

·         I love to travel.  Someone once said the adult sticker book is a passport.  I wholeheartedly agree.  Every time I get a new stamp I feel the same exhilaration as getting a new Lisa Frank sticker book (remember those?).

·         KARAOKE. ANYTIME. ANYPLACE. WITH ANYONE. YES. YES. YES!!!

Can you believe we are at a BOWLING ALLEY?! Yea, we got hard in the paint for some karaoke!

·         I am unique.  That is a stronger, more positive word than “different.”  I embrace it.  If people don’t understand my fashion choices for instance, it is because the pants I wear are Thai pants and my jewelry is from Jamaica and Malaysia.  I can’t expect them to be accepting, or even understanding of me.  They haven’t been unplugged as I have.  It’s ok.  They don’t know any better. ;-)

·         Food is delicious almost EVERYWHERE.  You just have to be willing to try it (and at times, get over the presentation or ingredients of it)!

This food looked a little like vomit haha but as you can see, we devoured it.

·         Most importantly, I’ve learned that it is ok to be yourself.  It is almost required.  Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”  No matter whom you choose to be, make sure that is who you really are.  Even when we say someone dances to the beat of their own drummer, that still means it is them and the drummer!  Don’t hide who you are in fear of isolation.  If we are our true selves, we will attract the correct circle around us.

I pretty much met them all the same night.  We ended up having dinner & spending HOURS thinking we are Whitney/Mariah/Toni/Janet haha.  Now we hang out regularly & I've even had a sleepover with one of them!

Traveling has allowed me to come to my own resolutions about these and many other things at warp speed.  I think this is perhaps why things are so different here than back home, especially in terms of relationships.  All the highs and lows we would experience with people back home is fast-forwarded here.  In our familial surroundings, we listen to family, friends, media, politics, religion, etc.  When you move to a place where no one knows your face, name, or even language, an enormous socialization burden is lifted.  A lot of societal voices are silenced.  When our own voice is the most clear, so is our sense of direction and purpose; so are we.

Thanks Abbie! (My new hair stylist haha you like?)

As bizarre as it may sound, I came to all these conclusions one day when I was out with my new bestie and chuckling at how we already have inside jokes and each other’s back stories.  My guard is completely down with her and many others I encounter here.  I pray I never feel the need to throw up a wall again when I move on from this place.  So here’s to Abbie, who unknowingly helped me to realize that it isn’t necessarily Korea specifically that changed my behavior, but my own maturity when I allowed my voice to be the only one to speak for me.  Silence is more than golden; it's eye-opening.

**If you can’t afford to travel internationally, I highly recommend domestic travel to place totally unfamiliar to you.  The silence is there for everyone, you just have to find it.

Pajamas, Ice Cream, Reflections and a Destiny Fulfilled

By: Brittany S

BRITTANY (BRIT a nee; not to be confused with BRIT-nee): the English translation of the French region, Bretagne, settled by the Britons (British).  The name means “Land of the Britons.”

NOMMO:  interpreted as the Afrocentric principle of the creative power of a word; a word’s power to speak things into existence.  Originally derived from the Dogon people of Central Africa and rebirthed by African American Rhetorical Scholar Molefi Asante.

My mother always told me that I need to “speak things into existence.”  If I want to succeed, don’t say I will fail; say I have already succeeded all expectations.  I really like “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” –(Henry Ford)

What's worse is I used to sign my name like this, too.

But yet, my mother named me after a chipmunk.

If you remember “Alvin and the Chipmunks” and the girls, or the “Chipettes,” then you might know from where my name came.  I’m not sure where my middle name (Nicole) came from, but it almost seems like in the mid 80s (at least in the Midwest anyway) almost every “Brittany” was a “Brittany Nicole.”  “Nicole” is of Greek origin and means “victorious people.”  My last name is actually a made-up name and the only people I know with that name are my family members.

So why tell you all about my name?  As I said, I believe in nommo.  Now that isn’t to say you can just speak something into existence and POOF! there it is (“faith without works is dead”), but I am saying there is something in a name.  You ever look at someone and thought “Yea she looks like a Stephanie” or “everyone I know named ‘Paris’ is pretty” or something like that?  I know I have.  If we hear someone’s (American) name is hyphenated like “Billy-Bob” or “Sallie-Mae,” we automatically associate them with a rural/country upbringing.  If we hear a name with a bunch of hyphens, dashes, or extra letters, we associate that with something, too.  There is something in a name.

In short, my name speaks to Britain and France (Brittany), victorious people (Nicole), and trailblazing (my last name is made-up remember?).  One of those bored, sitting-in-pjs-all-day-eating-ice-cream-out-of-the-pint type of summer days I reflected on my name and my life experiences.  My first international trip was to London (with a weekend in France), even though I went through hell and back to get there (alone).  As a matter of fact, almost every major international journey I have made has had its hiccups.  But, my fighting, “victorious” spirit wouldn’t give up and I am so thankful that I didn’t.  I’m doing these people in my family have never even dreamed of and I’m leading the way for those around me (family/friends/associates/mentees) to do the same.

I didn’t write this snippet of my life so that you can get busy Googling your name and reevaluating your life (although I am curious to hear if anyone else has a name that can be translated to speak more on who they are/want to be).  I wrote it because it was on this particular pj Saturday that I realized that I was/am doing exactly what I was called to do.  I felt a sense of purpose in this new hobby.  Ever heard of the chaos theory or butterfly effect?

Learned about it from this movie haha don't judge me.  It's a real theory!

In short, the chaos theory refers to seemingly unrelated events that in reality are all connected and the slightest change in the initial conditions can have the biggest impact on the outcome.  Although this is more of a mathematical concept than anything else, in application, I’ll just say this.  Now that I am where I am, looking back, I have realized there are a lot of random things in my life that had things been different even slightly; I would not be where I am today.  I’ll even include my name.  If my mother preferred another chipette or maybe another cartoon altogether, what would my name be?

If I didn’t win a study abroad scholarship would I have ever sought out a program?  What if I graduated from college earlier or later?  What if I got that summer job that I REALLY wanted and was devastated that I didn't get it (after all, this job is the reason I had nothing to do over the summer and got bored so applied to leave the country)?  There are so many things that happened exactly as they needed to (even though they weren’t the way I wanted them to) so that things would be the way they are.  It all makes sense now.  My take home message out of my rambling is this:  even though things are not always the way you wish they were, sometimes things are not the way they seem.  Whatever you may be going through right now is preparing in you some way for what is to come.  Who knows, maybe it'll lead to you deciding to trade it all in and go abroad, too.  Ultimately, I think traveling is a great way to start over.  One thing is for sure; being abroad makes you do a lot of soul-searching.  For me, I am realizing that not every rough patch is without its flower.    Not all “chaos” is bad! :-)

BTW, did the title make anyone else think of this?  No?  Yea, no, me neither...heh heh

1st World vs 3rd World Living

June 2012,  Breian S. Brockington

Outstretched on a white, plush beach lounge chair, with my toes dipped in sun kissed sands, beside me rest a mixed drink of assorted tropical fruits, a tourist favorite. Covered by a giant blue and white striped umbrella, I begin to notice the slight and sometimes ambiguous stares, accompanied with chubby, pointed fingers in my direction. I’m sure it’s on everyone’s mind. They’re all wondering the same thing. Who is she? Who does she think she is? Where is she from? It’s not unusual to see someone who looks like me but it is unusual to see me here, in this setting, with people waiting on me. Hi, my name is Breian Brockington, I’m a Black American and I live in a Third World Country: Morocco.

It’s been two years and I still haven’t seen all there is to see in this country. Every day presents itself as a new adventure. And I take it all in stride; at least I think I do. Daily task become an epic tale of magic, foreign languages, bribery, the occasional polite gesture and of course tragedy. My time here really could be portrayed as the next big sci-fi trilogy. Living in Morocco has been a curse and a blessing all in itself. I have learned the value of simplistic living and embraced the joys of First World Problems. Yes, you just read that right. I now value some of the trivial issues we have in the states and other first world countries. Although I find the term third world to be a little offensive and demeaning, I assure you it is definitely “Another World”. Now I know that television will have you believe that Morocco is this exotic getaway in the North of Africa, complete with camel rides, Moroccan tea, and belly dancers. However, living here as a "local foreigner" has given me access to the trenches and luxuries Morocco has to offer. But how do the lows and hi’s compare to first world living? In order to answer this question for those thinking of making that big move to Morocco or else where I’ve compiled four categories that will paint a verbal picture of 3^rd World vs 1^st World Living.

Number 1: Food

Plain and simple, there are fewer preservatives, pesticides, and it’s inexpensive to shop for groceries in a 3^rd World Country. Being that I am American I can only speak for my country. I must say that buying healthy foods in America have become very expensive. A $4.50 bag of pesticide pumped apples at home would cost about $1.50 here. They are smaller, healthier and if not eaten within a week they’re considered bad. The prepackaged bread that we usually pay $2.15 for is less than 0.50 and is baked fresh every day. Yes there are major grocers here and I do frequent them but only for things I’m unable to find at the open markets. The bottom line: The food is healthier. Now, if you prefer to enjoy your food outside the home that expense will run you roughly the same amount as it would in the states or Europe. However, your portions will be significantly less than what the States usually provide.

Number 2: Diversity

Just about everywhere I go in America or Europe I can see someone who looks just like me. But in Morocco people have a hard time believing I’m American. My skin color convinces the masses even when we speak that I must be from some other African country. Although I have no problem with being referred to as African, I hate the subtle undertones of racism that accompany those comments. I guess it's not that far off from the States and Europe. 

Morocco may not have a vast color palette but its diversity shows in the many languages spoken in this North African country. In the north it is quite common to walk down the street and here conversations spoken in Spanish. With Spain being only a ferry ride away it’s no wonder Spaniards tried and succeeded for many years in ruling this part of Morocco. Darija; a dialect of classic Arabic is the preferred by locals. Arabic is the official language but is rarely spoken outside of business circles. French can be heard throughout the entirety of Morocco, it's their economic language. So living here would be awesome if learning a new language is on your bucket list.

Number 3: Daily Convenience

If you don’t miss anything in the states you will definitely miss the ability to get around easily. At home taxi’s, buses, trains and subways are abundant and at your service when needed. I can’t say the same for Morocco. Have you ever been wedged between 4 other people in the back of a 1982 Mercedes? How about sitting side by side in the front passenger seat? You will in Morocco unless you pay for the whole seat. Yes, when procuring a taxi you initially pay for half a seat. Trust me it is in your best interest to pay for the entire seat.  Unless crowded spaces are your thing, I say public transportation in an under developed country is a no go. Fair warning, Morocco can get pretty hot in the summer...Think about it. Other amenities such as online banking are pretty nonexistent. Mailing letters, notarizing official documents, paying speeding tickets and simply buying jewelry and clothing are all things I enjoy in a developed country.

Number 4: Traditions and Culture

When arriving in Morocco you see images of the Berber people (indigenous people of Morocco), some who still live a very traditional lifestyle. You hear the sounds of Gnawa music, and consume traditional meals like couscous are every Friday, as it was done years ago. A trip to Marrakesh or Fez will allow you to see old souks, (traditional markets) that still operate through bargaining. A glimpse of snake charmers and old story tellers are common sights as well. All of these elements give you the sense that although Morocco is striving to compete with other Arab countries, they still hold tightly to their customs. Of course we have our own traditions in America like Fourth of July BBQ’s, Easter egg hunts and New Year’s Eve fireworks, among others. However, there are so many subcultures in America the line between culture and tradition is usually blurred. What an underdeveloped country may lack in economics and convenience it definitely makes up in culture and tradition.

Traveling Sucks (Yeah, I Said It)

By Rukiya McNair

Photo.

I miss my husband. As I am here in Puerto Rico enjoying the sunshine (see photo), he is in a war zone everyday… working away. Having two small children does make it a bit better, as I always have company and for the most part they are a joy to be around. Missing him also makes me think about some of the things that travel has forced me to miss out on.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, travel has changed my life and opened my eyes to life in a way that I can’t describe in words but it does also have its downfalls.

For instance, friendships have been formed in every place I have  traveled to, and I mean real friendships. So, moving away is hard when you realize years down the road that the people who mean the most to you are often spread out across the globe.  On one hand, this great because you always have people to go visit, but on a day-to-day basis this can make things quite lonely.  Although, I can say that I am grateful for technology which makes it much easier to communicate now-a-days. So I suppose I should be thankful right?

Something else I have realized, as I have packed up and moved around more than most people I know, is that being attached to material possessions is a waste of energy and time. You know that lovely broach your grandmother gave you for your fifth birthday or that necklace that’s been passed down in your family for generations? Leave it with someone you trust or simply prepare yourself for the reality that it will get broken, stolen, or lost…or some combination of the three.  At this point, I have managed to program myself to not become attached to anything that can’t love me back. Be aware that luggage does get lost, delayed and stolen. Understand that when you leave items at a hotel, they typically don’t call you to say they have it, especially if it’s of value. Yes, people do pick-pocket, this is something your typical American is not accustomed to, but it happens (in some places, it happens rather often). Left your cell phone in a taxi after a fun and long night out? Kiss it goodbye.  Ipods, purses, wallets…anything you can think of can and more than likely will turn up missing if you travel enough. Just be thankful for your health and keep it moving.

A bit of advice I do have is that when you take photos, upload them to a website, internet storage, your email or somewhere you can find them in the case that your camera and/or laptop breaks or disappears. I mean, one thing you don’t want to lose is all of the beautiful photos you have taken along the way, right?

Okay, so now that I've officially scared you off (I'm joking, if you're reading this I know it can't be that easy) let it be known that traveling and living abroad is not for the faint for heart. It will, however change your life for the better and you will belong to one of the best clubs around. 

'Till Death Do Us Part

By Rukiya McNair

Terima Kasih. Salamat Pagi.  Apa Kabar?

These are only a few the phrases that were part of my world in 2007. It was me and Jakarta, Indonesia for one year…for better or for worse. I quit my job, left the man I was dating,  voluntarily had my car repossessed, as I couldn’t find a buyer for my pride and joy, sold everything I could…old, new, cherished…it was all posted on Craigslist. I spent my last paycheck on my plane ticket, and headed to my parents’ house for a few weeks until my departure. I didn't know it then, but I officially married the travel game that year. Yes, it goes by many different names-- jet life, wanderlust, nomadic lifestyle, or even just plain ol’ traveling-- all I knew was I was o-u-t. Something was calling me…calling me to fulfill this overwhelming need to experience the beauty of the world first-hand. I left the States with an all or nothing attitude, quitting (i.e. running back home) was not an option for me, I had given up too much.  

For Better

There is so much good in Indonesia; there is even a small amount of good in Jakarta.  I met amazing people from all over world, developed a true love for teaching, ate the most delicious food I have ever tasted (well, except for my mother’s macaroni and cheese…nothing beats that), saw volcanoes, monkeys, experienced Chinese New Year and Ramadan in a Muslim country for the first time. It was beautiful.

 I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the more materialistic and consumer-oriented side of Jakarta as well.  I’m talking about a place where women dress up in heels and skirts just to go to the mall, and wear cocktail dresses and heels to go out at night. I truly loved how women in Jakarta embraced their femininity to the fullest; it was re-assuring for an independent, jean-loving American gal. The nightlife was amazing with everything from ultra-posh nightclubs to Jalan Jaksa, where you have your cheaper bars and a more backpacking and traveling crowd.

For Worse

As with most places when a newcomer arrives, people are interested. They want to know, who is this person? Where do they come from? Or sometimes people simply haven’t seen a Black person in real life until…me. Yes, for an American it’s a strange concept, that someone can go their entire life without seeing a person of African descent, like…in person. In Jakarta, Indonesia my reality was stares, some interested and some disgusted. The color of my skin seemed to be clearly offensive to some, while others seemed to embrace it just as I do. I was thrown out of a bar on Jalan Jaksa as soon as I walked in, yes it’s true, because I am Black. I have had a parent and child look at me, point and say “Orang hitam!” meaning, “Black person!” Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, but when anyone points at you from across a room it’s a bit unnerving.

Also, how could I forget the air pollution, trash that could be found piled up just about anywhere on the streets and in parking lots, walking down the street having strangers yell,"Hello mister!" as I passed by, dishonest and untrustworthy taxi drivers, dishonest and untrustworthy police officers...

Indonesia was not the only place I had been nor was it the last stop. As a matter of fact, I’ll more than likely be going back. There is so much to see and experience in Indonesia, I feel like I need to see more, and I will.  On this journey around the world and in life I’m looking forward to experiencing everything that each new country, city and town has to offer. The good, the bad and the ugly.  All of it. There is beauty in every last bit.

‘Till death do us part…the world and I. 

Why Should I Move Abroad?

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Living Abroad

February 26, 2012—Cha Jones

Are you ready to trade your current life for a new life of adventure and travel abroad?

Well, before you go jetsetting around the world you may want to think about the advantages and disadvantages of moving abroad. Now, don’t get me wrong I believe that anytime you can trade your everyday life for an adventure, then you certainly can’t go wrong, or can you?

After, living in South Korea for three years these are that things I think would make me want to leave America and live abroad.

• No rent to pay: huge advantage if you are living in the city paying upwards to $1100 a month with no supporting cast members
• No car payment: I didn’t have a car payment before I left, but when you moved abroad, although I had a car my second year, there was great public transportation…so no car note is good
• Healthcare: oh! I had really good healthcare and I didn't have to pay much for drugs
• It’s easier to learn the language: if you are looking to learn a new language it’s much easier to learn one if you have to use it every day to communicate
• You will have a better appreciation for diversity: America is a melting pot, even though we tend to think of everything as Black and White, when you live abroad you appreciate multiculturalism and the value of meeting people from everywhere
• You are able to see the world from a different vantage point: if you have never traveled abroad, then the world looks like what you see on television. However, when you travel abroad you’re able to see things as they are and not how someone else is telling you things are
• You are able to dispel rumors and educate people: many times people have heard negative things about other races and cultures, but when you move abroad, especially being “of color” you are able to help people have a better view through first hand experiences
• Good Food: if you like the countries food, then you get to have good authentic food
• New Friends: You are able to have very diverse sets of friends
• Traveling the World: it’s easier to travel and see other places when you live abroad
• Learning experience: you just learn so much about everything
• Improved Lifestyle: you are able to experience living rather than just working and surviving
• Change: you are always reinventing yourself and making new friends

As far as the disadvantages, and yes there are some…

• Time difference: you have to get use to being in a different time zone where it may not be very easy to communicate with friends and family
• Missing Out: you miss out on some very important events (weddings, birth of children, and many holidays)
• No home cooked meals: you can’t just run and get a home cooked meal from your mother
• Nothing is convenient: having the things you like to eat at the grocery store is not always easy  to get
• Shopping may not be idea: you may have to order your clothes and when you get them they may be all wrong
• Losing touch with others: all the people at home are changing and you feel so disconnected
• No familiarity: you have to make new friends where you are, and they can’t replace those friends who really, really know you
• Change may be difficult: you have to give up some of the things you love to find new things that you like
• Home-sick: when you really miss home, it’s so far away
• Communication barriers: you may not have many people who speak your native language around you, and you may have trouble communicating
• Food allergies and dislikes: you may not like the food in your new country and it may be very difficult to get food you like or you just may be unable to eat

I could spend several hours thinking of all the things I love about living aboard and an equal amount of time thinking of things I hate. However, I think when you are weighing the odds of what is in your best interest, living abroad has so much more weight than the alternative. The experience alone is a great reason to do it, but if you know that you are not an open person, then I’d suggest rethinking your options. However, if you’re not an open person living abroad may not even be a consideration in the first place?

I say follow your heart and everything else will work out. Welcome Abroad!