And I Thought I was Too Old to Begin Life as an Expat?

Notice anything a bit unusual about the group of expats in this photo? 

 

 I’ll give you a hint – all of us were born before 1970.  And no, we’re not retirees; we’re working while living abroad.  Although it didn’t hit me that I was the youngest one in the group until I saw the pictures from our recent trip to Anyi Ancient Villages.  You know why it didn't occured to me that I was the youngest?  It's because these folks are so full of energy and curiosity, and still looking at the world with such a sense of wonder that I'm constantly forgeting all about their age – which of course, also comes with the added benefit of making me forget about my own!  With the exception of Nicolas, a 61 year old Canadian (far right), this is the first time all of us have been to China and the first time any of us have lived abroad.  And I tell you, when I look around at my current peers and recall the angst I felt about becoming a 1^st time expat  at the “late” age of 43, I feel rather silly.  Because now, I can so deeply understand that universal wisdom which tells us that nearly all of our limitations are just illusions created by our own fears.

 The trip to Anyi was incredible.  The group of villages there is over a thousand years old and it’s just an amazing place.  It’s a tourist attraction (I had to pay admission) but also an active, working village.  Many of the structures that are still standing date back to the 600s A.D. and the inhabitants still live the way most of us did at the turn of the 20^th century.  Here's a few pics from that day...

 

It was incredible walking down the same narrow stone corridors that people have walked for over a thousand years!
 

This old lady and child were handwashing clothes with bar soap in weather that was cold enough for me to need gloves and a scarf. 

 

This tree is over 1000 years old!
 

 

And to think I almost missed it because … well, let’s just say my digestive system is still getting used to life in China.  But after popping some Imodium the night before, I woke up with a settled stomach and a mind set that was determined to go.  And I have to admit that it was the eldest of our group, a sweet 66 year old lady from Dallas, that gave me the extra bit of motivation I needed.  Because I thought, if she was raring to go on a day trip that included unlimited walking, sketchy bathrooms, and the unpredictability that always comes from foreign travel, surely I could make it!  So that’s right, instead of being motivated to keep up (and keep fit) because I’m keeping company with “young” people, I’m actually getting motivation from wanting to keep up with the “old” folks!

And that’s just one of the ways that my perceptions about age has been kind of been turned on its head since I’ve been here.  Another odd phenomenon is that the idea of being "old and wise" has simply become (at least within the group of expats living/working at my University) equated with how long a person has lived in China.  So that the couple who is in their 20’s, Matt and Jenn, who have lived here for a year (which is a year longer than any of us) have become the dispensers of advice and information in the way that elders usually are.  This 20 something year old couple - they are the ones that teach us, the ones who’ve already experienced what we’re now experiencing, and in so many ways, function as the "parents" of our little expat tribe.  Those of us in our 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s have no problem deferring to their wisdom on any number of issues related to being an expat here in China.  The fact that they are only in their 20’s is virtually meaningless. 
 
Now, in some ways it has been a bit disorienting to have my mental constructs and perceptions about age become so completely turned upside down.  Though I have to admit that mostly, it has also become downright liberating! 

 

http://www.loveniais.com/ - Living and Learning Life One Risk at a Time

Top 10 Things I Didn't See Coming...

August, 2012-Lovenia Leapart  

loveniais.com    

When I decided to move abroad:

 

1) That I would change my mind so many times about what country I wanted to go to.

Yes, research is important, but it can also be a double edged sword given the many, varied, and conflicting pieces of information out there about what it's like to teach and live in different countries.

2) That I'd actually get to the point where I'd be totally fine with not knowing what country I'd eventually end up living in.

When I first made the decision last fall that, Yes! I'm ready to finally allow myself the opportunity to live abroad! - There was only one place I was seriously considering, and that was Hong Kong. Briefly, I considered Indonesia, and then it was a close race between S. Korea and China, with China making the winning offer in the end.                                               

3) That the recruiters would be almost more of a hindrance than a help in my job search. And that I’d eventually land a job without the aid of any recruiters. There were only 2 recruiting companies that I knew about when I began my job search and for the first few months, my job search consisted of looking only for more suitable recruiters.  The idea of finding a teaching job abroad on my own didn't even cross my mind at the time.

4) That almost everything that could come up to nickel and dime my savings would lay in waiting until just the right moment when it would be able to compete with the things I would need to prepare for my move abroad. A state tax bill cropping up from a filing 2 years ago, my desktop computer catching a virus that cost $$ to get rid of (just when I was starting to get offers for Skype interviews), then 6 weeks later an electrical storm blowing it out despite the surge protector (the computer was given to me, so maybe it wasn't in the best shape to begin with), the battery on my laptop gasping its last breath, having to buy my mother a new washing and dryer for her the new place that she had to get because of my moving abroad due to my brother deciding to flake about doing it, movers paid by the hour who worked as slow as molasses due to the 100 + degree heat wave during the weekend of my move, and an apartment manager who charged me (albeit, a relatively small amount of cash) a day of additional rent because I didn't turn in my keys Sunday (the day my lease ended) by 5pm, and turned them in on Monday morning instead.

Then I saw these 3 little guys singing by my doorstep…

Ha! Just kidding!  But I did hear a quote that went something like this – “Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.”  And that kind of put things in perspective for me…

5) That more people would think what I was doing was cool than would think it was crazy.

I was genuinely surprised and extremely pleased and heartened by the support and encouragement I received by virtually everyone, including my more conservative/cautious family and friends.

6) That my Mom would be as supportive and encouraging. Though she never said one word to discourage me, she seemed to feel more resigned about the move then happy about it at first. But in time, she really grew to become pleased by the idea, proudly telling folks, "My daughter's going to teach abroad." whenever the opportunity arose. And during those times when I got discouraged and began to doubt my decision, she stepped right up and offered the encouragement I needed to get back on track.

7) That I'd go from allowing myself to make this decision purely for financial reasons to making it from almost an entirely intuitive standpoint.

At first, the justification for allowing myself to considering going abroad rested purely on the potential for financial gain. I thought, how else can you justify doing such a thing at your age? But in time, an internal transformation took place in me as began to see a deeper, wider scope of possibilities in this decision, and it allowed me to understand that if moving abroad was something I felt deeply compelled to do, that I didn't need justification.

 8) That in planning and preparing for this journey, this adventure would make me feel so young (not that I'm old mind you, but I haven't felt this kind of nervous optimism since graduating college umpteen years ago). So many things about the experience of making this move abroad came about were so brand new to me, and the process has opened up what seems like a whole new world of opportunities I might explore that I'd never even thought possible for myself before. The exhilaration of that fills me with this profound kind of wonder and a new sense of adventure.

9) That fears and insecurities from days and jobs past would rise up to the surface whenever things advanced in a positive direction towards this actually happening. It freaked me out at first, made me back away from an opportunity that in retrospect would have been fine for me to accept. But this life is all about lessons and as long as I continue to remain willing to face my internal challenges, I know that God will continue to give me opportunities to work at overcoming them - hence, the opportunity that is resulting in my move to China!

10) That in recognizing said fears and insecurities and plowing ahead anyway, I would come to understanding that I wouldn't have been able to do it, if I hadn't already had experience in doing just that. Meaning, fears never go away, but the more you push through them and move ahead despite them, the easier it becomes to do it. Just like ANY worthy skill in life, the more you practice something, the better you get at it.

Besides, like they say,