Passing the Expat Baton...STICK! (Part 2)

By:  Brittany S

Now I know after reading the last post, I may have come off as a bit snooty, unapproachable, or full of attitude to some, and to others, I may have just been keeping it real.  But whatever your response to my initial post was, here is the softer side.  I offer you the cold side of the pillow; this is what happens when I am able to help someone become an expat, or at least an international traveler, for the first time.








First, a little about me:
(For the avid readers of my posts, you have probably read this once before, so you can skip to the next section.)  I'm a mid-20s, single, childless Black American living in Korea.  I grew up in several multi-generational households, with an average anywhere between 5-9 people in one 3-bedroom home.  Can you believe my mother was a single parent and I was an only child with those numbers!?  Let's just say "life for me ain't been no crystal stair."  My predominantly Black high school lost its accreditation the year after I graduated and what I learned (at a different high school) my freshman year was repeated over the next 3 years, ultimately putting me far behind my collegiate classmates.  My counselor tried to prepare me for a community college or the military.  She never even mentioned a four-year university and beyond.  My school's expectations for me were clear; I won't go far in life.

When I went off to a predominantly White institution, I noticed how different I was from them in life experiences and preparedness.  They all went on Spring Break trips around the country in high school (You mean you didn't just go to grandma's?) and around Europe as a senior class trip (My school allowed us to sell candy bars to go to DC, but that's as far as we got).  And in college?  They came in their freshman year with almost enough credits to make them sophomores.  They studied abroad and took family vacations out of the country.  Their two-story brick homes were renovated to add an additional room (Sometimes we lived in one-bedroom apartments with 3 people).  They knew about when they were going to get married, where they would live, and what they would do for work.  Some of them already had job offers before they even applied (Why don't I know anyone who can offer ME a job?).

Seriously?  Am I the ONLY one who doesn't have this all figured out?  (redsuspenders.tumblr.com)

After I got over my self-pity, or even past the blaming institutional racism for my plight, I realized that I was now in the same classrooms and same school as them.  I had a lot of the same resources available to me, and I had the power to change my situation.  Granted, there was a little more of a struggle financially (so I worked three jobs every semester), but I now had a CHOICE.  I could determine my future, or blame my past for my present.  I chose the former.  In 2007, I studied abroad in London for 6 weeks over the summer, as the only person from my state in the program.

Here I am six years later, living in South Korea.  People ask me questions all the time, but my favorite is when people just want to know my story.  Everyone likes telling stories, especially the ones they were able to author.  I have told people about my experiences before and after I became an expat and in doing so, I have planted a seed and/or nourished a dormant curiosity within them.  I think the best part about my story is when people tell me they can't do what I'm doing, I say "Why not?  I did it.  What makes you so different?"  When they sincerely consider this question and come to the realization that our differences aren't too many, then the real conversation begins.

Since I have been abroad, I have been able to help people find jobs abroad, and leave America for the first time, visit a foreign country for the first time (strictly as a tourist and not on military orders).  I must say I absolutely LOVED sharing in their expat "firsts".

Yep, that about sums it up. (kyssthis16.tumblr.com)

Finding a Job Abroad:  College Friend

My second job in Korea was a 6-month appointment to a rural elementary school.  I thought this was the perfect time-fill as I graduated from college in December and planned to teach in America in the fall.  Well, being in Korea as an employee instead of a student changed my outlook on expat living.  Six months is too short!  So, I decided to stay.  My friend from back home was in the same transitory state in her life, so I suggested that she came to Korea to do the same program I had just completed.  After a few conversations back and forth, she took me up on my offer and we got started on her application.  Because I had already gone through the same program, I was able to give her insider tips that helped her make a smoother transition than some of her peers.  I also was her reassuring voice, as she quickly saw how few people like "us" were expats and how intimidating this new form of solitude could be.
I remember the many times of her being lost in translation and navigation, not understanding the currency conversion or the language, and struggling to figure out something (seemingly) as simple as what to order from the menu.  And then I remember her traveling to three different countries with me in the same week, making friends with the locals, speaking and reading Korean, and telling people back home about how this could be their life, too.  She was an expat.
I was sad when it was time to see her off, but I was glad that not only did this experience change the lives of her students forever, but it has forever made her aware of global citizenship, expat living, and ultimately made her a better person.  I am so excited to see what the future holds for her.

She CONQUERED Asia...now all of her thoughts are global.  I'm so proud of her!

Traveling as a Tourist:  Sorority Sister

One of my favorite things about being in a Sorority is that I will be able to find another Soror just about anywhere I go.  When I moved to Korea, I joined one of our International Alumnae chapters and connected with my Sorors across the country.  Many of the chapter's membership consisted of members of the military.  I planned a trip with one of them to Japan.  She had never traveled abroad as a tourist before, only as a soldier.  She was so excited!  Even though both of us lived in Korea, I was able to teach her something new about expat life on this trip.  There were a couple times she found herself being surprised (disappointed) that everyone didn't speak English and/or that USD were not accepted everywhere.  But after a while, she got the hang of things and was able to communicate with the locals in a more effective way and master public transportation.  After this trip with me, she planned a SOLO trip to a couple other Asian countries.  Man, even I haven't done that yet!







Welcome Abroad:  Old Flame

There's something exciting about being able to share something you really love with someone you really love.  A blast from my past decided that he wanted to come visit me in Korea and I couldn't have been happier.  He was my first and only visitor abroad from back home.  There was so much I wanted to show him but only had a short amount of time!  And it didn't help that he came in the middle of Korea's winter.  HARSH.
I took him to meet me Korean family and even though my "brother" and one of my "sisters" don't really speak English, we were able to speak enough broken English and Korean to each other to communicate.  They wanted to get a feel for my friend and see how much he could drink (actually, they offered him their homemade raspberry wine, which Koreans believe aides a man in um...well...you know...).



It was really great that we were able to visit a Fire Station and interact with everyone, even the Chief (can you tell which one is the chief from the picture?  Look at the clothes.)  He is a fireman in his hometown and wanted to see how similar and different his profession is abroad.  They were honored to have him and he was honored to have had that experience.



This was his first trip abroad.  He purchased a passport and traveled 24 hours by himself into a country whose native language is not English.  Now that's brave.  My first trip abroad was to London!  I hope that through this exposure, he now feels the world is bigger than his neighborhood and country and that it is his to explore!  I'm glad I was able to awaken in him a new curiosity.



Ultimately, it is moments like these that won't allow me to throw in the towel on travel guidance for others.  I hope the three of them continue to travel throughout their lives.  If not, at least their perspectives on life and the world will forever be altered at least somewhat.  I know they've altered mine.  I'm glad someone was able to take my baton and keep the travel bug alive.  Have you inspired someone to travel lately?

Passing the Expat Baton...But They Aren't Catching Up! (Part 1)

By:  Brittany S

My face when the interviews begin...dude, I just wanna enjoy the ride sometimes!

We've all experienced it:  the moment when someone asks you questions about the expat experience and you cringe.

You cringe not because you are unhappy abroad or with the person, it’s the question that unnerves you.  I'm sure even now, you are sitting there reading this nodding, pursing your lips, and saying "mmmhmmmm..." and immediately at least 5 questions come to mind  (and the  responses that occur in our minds):

What do you do over there? ("Just anybody can go over there?")

• Nothing.  I sit in a temple and am writing my own "Eat, Pray, Love".  ("I'm not trained, educated, or certified at all so since they chose me over the chimp and the robot they were considering, I guess they really DO just let anyone over here!)

Where exactly are you?  ("Are you in North or South Korea?")

• Seriously?  Even if you don't know the difference between Dhaka and Dakar, or Liberia and Libya, how could you NOT know about BOTH North AND South Korea right now?!  PSY has made everyone look at South Korea, North Korea’s nuclear threats made everyone look at North Korea.  Both of these countries, if they were not on your radar before, 2012-13 should DEFINITELY have put them there.  So why do you keep asking me which Korea I'm in!?  Or worse, if I'm in China (a place a lot of Koreans consider old, outdated, and dirty) or Japan (Korea's sworn enemy...well...outside of themselves)?  Wild card, I'm in Indonesia. 

Did you really just ask that?  Look at my face.  C'mon son...

 

Do they speak English there?  (And/or "Can you speak [Korean] fluently yet?")

• Hmmm...the only language that I speak IS English and I have a job TEACHING ENGLISH...at the very least...the people around me speak at least enough English for me to have a job and comfortable lifestyle. (And how many years did we study Spanish and/or French in school and still can't speak it?  How many Americans do you know that can't even speak English?  So why would I be fluent by now?)

Are there Black people there?

• OMG...they must think I'm Michael Jackson now. O.o

Wait, you mean I'm the only one?  So who are all these Brothas&Sistas of South Korea?

 

What do you eat? ("Do they really eat dog?" or "What else do they eat besides sushi?" -_-)

• It's funny how people feel "cultured" when they can use chopsticks, go to a Chinese Buffet or have sushi, but they think when you are actually IN these countries you are eating dogs beat over the head with a rock.  I have actually become a scavenger and I eat whatever I can find on the ground.

We get asked these questions so often, that I'm starting to think expats need to carry an information card as a courtesy to pass out when we spark their expat curiosity.  If somehow you were able to answer the above questions through your teeth and they are still attentive, they fire off another line of questioning:

"Sooo...I've been thinking about doing what you're doing (even though the previous questions I asked let you know that I don't actually KNOW what you're doing...), so how do I get started?  I wanna try and move there in like a month."

• I give a list of websites to start job searches in different countries, recommend that they submit the fingerprints for the FBI background check and go apply for a passport as soon as possible to get them started.  However, when I try to talk about timelines and hiring patterns with people, I swear it goes in one ear and out the other.  I guess this is a good thing because they don't waste their money on that paperwork when they change their mind about their sporadic decision to move abroad.  For those who show a little bit more promise, I help them consider different countries and some resources (including people) there.  However, it seems like people don't make it past this step.  You can lead a horse to water...

"Do you like it there?"

• I'm not sure if the fact that I've been abroad for more than 2 years, write for a travel blog, keep a separate blog solely dedicated to the awesome moments that happen at my job,  and post tons of pics and funny posts on Facebook is enough to say I like it.  I need to stop having people think I'm so miserable.

"Do they have (xyz product, food, or business) there?"

• I want to say "let me Google that for you" or hit them with the actual link.  I mean, must I spell out EVERYTHING?  Almost all of these questions have already been answered by SOMEBODY, SOMEWHERE.  They are all just as sick of these questions as I am, so they’ve created blogs, documents, web pages, etc so that you...the one who wants to do what they are already doing...can show some initiative and do some research!  Granted, it is easier for you to ask us directly (and when the moon is full, we do actually genuinely enjoy being your source of info), and even more trustworthy in your eyes, but you are not the only person we know who wants to use us as their resource.  Think about how many times we have had to say the SAME thing.  And it becomes even more frustrating when...

"Mmm...I decided not to do it.  I mean, I don't wanna have to live in a whole 'nother country...so I'mma just stay here...you have fun with that."

• #(#*%(@&@$(&!!!!!!!  Seriously!?  After picking our brains, and in the rare case that we think you might 

         A--be serious about coming over
         B--be able to handle expat life and blossom abroad and
         C--not be an obnoxious embarrassment to our race and/or nationality
   
         and decided to fully help you, you back out!?

Are you KIDDING ME?!

I know some of you agree with me and share my frustrations, while others are questioning why I’m so bitter towards these questions.  "Didn't someone help YOU out?" you may wonder (No, but that isn’t the point).  I cherish this experience and as the expats these people know, we are gatekeepers in a way.  We are their lead into this world.  It’s an honor to have people look at me and become at least curious about a whole new world.  And as someone on the other side, I’d love to help others and share this world with them.  But, I’ve also seen countless people that have no business being abroad, and it makes me take the gatekeeper role a bit more seriously.

I’ll never tell anyone they SHOULDN'T go abroad, but I definitely won't spoon-feed someone who already feels entitled to everything from the beginning.  If you feel I MUST help you, must answer your every question in detail, directly, and immediately, and that the country MUST have this, this, and this, or you will NOT stay, and that you already "know" what it’ll be like (including what the people are like), then you don't need my help.  In my opinion, you want this life for the wrong reasons, and if you plan to pursue it, do it without my guidance.  And for those who I do fully offer guidance, it’s frustrating when you don't take some ownership over your own curiosity.  I don't have a side gig as the "middle man" to expat life.  And as much as I would love to see you abroad, it is tiresome and burdensome to have to KEEP reinventing the wheel for one person at a time, for the duration of my life abroad.  Please earnestly do your research and look to me for GUIDANCE, not INSTRUCTION.

'D' is for DO some homework...and DON'T pester your expat friend!

For those abroad, how do you handle these questions?


Here's how a couple of my friends have handled it.

Check out Kaylee's detailed blog on  how to become a teacher in South Korea.

or Perl's video series on how to get a visa.

For those wanting to go abroad, what are you doing yourself to make that happen?

And I Thought I was Too Old to Begin Life as an Expat?

Notice anything a bit unusual about the group of expats in this photo? 

 

 I’ll give you a hint – all of us were born before 1970.  And no, we’re not retirees; we’re working while living abroad.  Although it didn’t hit me that I was the youngest one in the group until I saw the pictures from our recent trip to Anyi Ancient Villages.  You know why it didn't occured to me that I was the youngest?  It's because these folks are so full of energy and curiosity, and still looking at the world with such a sense of wonder that I'm constantly forgeting all about their age – which of course, also comes with the added benefit of making me forget about my own!  With the exception of Nicolas, a 61 year old Canadian (far right), this is the first time all of us have been to China and the first time any of us have lived abroad.  And I tell you, when I look around at my current peers and recall the angst I felt about becoming a 1^st time expat  at the “late” age of 43, I feel rather silly.  Because now, I can so deeply understand that universal wisdom which tells us that nearly all of our limitations are just illusions created by our own fears.

 The trip to Anyi was incredible.  The group of villages there is over a thousand years old and it’s just an amazing place.  It’s a tourist attraction (I had to pay admission) but also an active, working village.  Many of the structures that are still standing date back to the 600s A.D. and the inhabitants still live the way most of us did at the turn of the 20^th century.  Here's a few pics from that day...

 

It was incredible walking down the same narrow stone corridors that people have walked for over a thousand years!
 

This old lady and child were handwashing clothes with bar soap in weather that was cold enough for me to need gloves and a scarf. 

 

This tree is over 1000 years old!
 

 

And to think I almost missed it because … well, let’s just say my digestive system is still getting used to life in China.  But after popping some Imodium the night before, I woke up with a settled stomach and a mind set that was determined to go.  And I have to admit that it was the eldest of our group, a sweet 66 year old lady from Dallas, that gave me the extra bit of motivation I needed.  Because I thought, if she was raring to go on a day trip that included unlimited walking, sketchy bathrooms, and the unpredictability that always comes from foreign travel, surely I could make it!  So that’s right, instead of being motivated to keep up (and keep fit) because I’m keeping company with “young” people, I’m actually getting motivation from wanting to keep up with the “old” folks!

And that’s just one of the ways that my perceptions about age has been kind of been turned on its head since I’ve been here.  Another odd phenomenon is that the idea of being "old and wise" has simply become (at least within the group of expats living/working at my University) equated with how long a person has lived in China.  So that the couple who is in their 20’s, Matt and Jenn, who have lived here for a year (which is a year longer than any of us) have become the dispensers of advice and information in the way that elders usually are.  This 20 something year old couple - they are the ones that teach us, the ones who’ve already experienced what we’re now experiencing, and in so many ways, function as the "parents" of our little expat tribe.  Those of us in our 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s have no problem deferring to their wisdom on any number of issues related to being an expat here in China.  The fact that they are only in their 20’s is virtually meaningless. 
 
Now, in some ways it has been a bit disorienting to have my mental constructs and perceptions about age become so completely turned upside down.  Though I have to admit that mostly, it has also become downright liberating! 

 

http://www.loveniais.com/ - Living and Learning Life One Risk at a Time

The Five P’s of Preparing for Your Life Abroad

By:  eternitysojourner


Nouakchott, Mauritania

When my brother moved abroad more than years ago, his life seemed like an Indiana Jones adventure.  Unreliable internet access and expensive international calls made communication scarce.  Whenever we did make contact, he would engage us in long and winding tales of the people, places, and circumstances he encountered in the deserts of West Africa.  At that time, moving abroad seemed unimaginable, unpredictable, and risky.  But now, it seems easier to leave your homeland than ever before.  Folks are not only crisscrossing borders with greater ease but also blogging, tweeting, and Facebook-ing the entire journey along the way.  Everyone from Wanderlust Wendy to Computer Geek Gary has found a place for themselves abroad and you can too, with a few steps of preparation before joining the growing community of expatriates.

Purpose
With seven continents to choose from, it’s hard to know where to begin your life abroad.  There are various languages, cultures, and climates to consider but knowing your personal goal and objective can be a powerful navigator through the sea of choices.  A great starting point would be assessing your finances.  If financial freedom is your goal, you may want to look at destinations where you can earn big and spend little.  Once the “man” is off your back and debt collectors no longer address you on a first name basis, it’s time to look at destinations that have personal or spiritual significance to you.  Many a traveler find their expeditions unexpectedly cut short, so try to prioritize the fulfilling and meaningful experiences that memoirs are made of.  See those sights, make those pilgrimages, and bask in those precious, unforgettable moments.

The Door of No Return, Goiree Island, Senegal

Papers

Half-finished degrees do little to secure a respectable income abroad (if earning is your goal).  Once you’ve decided on a course of study, training, or certification, see it through to completion and don’t belittle your accomplishment.  Carry the banners of your hard-earned efforts and keep scanned and hard copies readily available. Even first-aid or scuba diving certificates have helped people secure their dream job abroad. Other important documents might include your birth certificate, background checks, recommendation letters, marriage certificates, name change documents, etc.  Even with e-tickets and mobile check-in, sometimes a printed itinerary can come in handy. 

Plans

Flying by the seat of your pants has its place and function but a little planning can save you time and money.  A flexible plan that allows for contingencies can help you keep the ball rolling when you’ve run into roadblocks and brick walls.  If planning is not your spiritual gift, then consider conditional plans like “I will start here unless...” or “I will do this until…”  Sitting back and charting your path will help you move more efficiently and cost-effectively through the land.  Even if the wanderers amongst us could care less about such formalities, it will certainly assure your more grounded family and friends that you haven’t completely lost it.

Sana'a, Yemen

Patience
What you think you possess of patience will not only be tested in your life abroad but also stretched, beaten, and contorted until it sits like a hard-won trophy on your mantle.  I really used to think I was patient, but perpetual frustration in my first destination showed me that there was more left to be acquired.  Challenges in everything from communication and correspondence to health, wealth, and sanity can leave you perplexed and aggravated, but keep in mind that new experiences are often powerful teachers in the subjects of life, yourself, and your place in this vast world.  When the bewilderment really starts to get to you, take the time to pause, quit beating yourself about the past, and let your purpose guide your next step forward. 

Piety
If landing yourself in prison abroad is on your bucket list, then feel free to ignore this piece of advice but for others, please take heed.  Even if sainthood isn’t your aim, a basic sense of good character and upright conduct can be life-saving in the most and stress-saving in the least, as you find your way in a new country.  Expats are not above the law and the rights and freedoms you enjoy in your home country may not travel with you.  If your lifestyle or personal views are illegal or in conflict with the laws and customs of your location and you feel the need to broadcast, publicize, and express them openly, maybe living in such a country would do more harm than good for you.  Drugs, drinking, or delinquency can make ugly turns and blemish not only your record but also your reputation, both socially and professionally.  Save risqué behavior for your own turf, and be on your best behavior when you’re in someone else’s home.  Also, don't forget to align yourself with the social and spiritual resources needed to be your best you wherever you go.

Mecca, Saudi Arabia

“I Wish Things Were Like This At Home…”

By:  Brittany S

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.  How could I have been so naïve to that fact?

I just moved to a new city three weeks ago and I have a new “best friend”.  Now of course we aren’t true best friends—the type that go in each other’s fridges, know each other’s parents’ phone numbers, been each other’s wingman then shoulder to cry on after the breakup.  We’re not even the besties that use the bathroom and talk to each other while the other is in the shower (Too far?).

"You and me must ne-vah part...ma-tee-da-da."

But, if anyone knows what is going on with me and/or where I am, she does.

But how is this possible in such a short time?  Two words:  FOREIGNER FRIENDLY.  These words mean more to me than just that that locals welcome/embrace foreigners or that there is an English translation available.  It means when foreigner meets foreigner, we (generally) become really friendly!  Initially knowing our only commonalities to be English speaker and non-Korean, we are more willing to do a lot of things within the first 24-48 hours of “knowing” each other:

·         Exchange phone numbers

·         Add each other on social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc)

·         Tell each other where we work and live (and sometimes even give each other the key codes to get into each other’s apartment buildings/rooms) as well as how/why we are in Korea and where we are from

·         Go to each other’s apartments

·         Go to dinners, bowling parties, etc and not know a single person in attendance

·         Hug or have some other form of familial physical contact

·         Ask for and/or offer career advice

·         Give or loan goods and services

I don't even know them.  I invited them to sing w/us & they were HILARIOUS.  I don't think I would be so "friendly" in the middle of the night if we were stateside.

All of this is possible without even knowing each other’s last name!  It may seem as though these newly-formed relationships are superficial (and in some cases, they are), but we sincerely develop somewhat intimate relationships with each other in an astoundingly short time.  It’s human nature to seek out those who are similar to us.  Whether our similarities be along the lines of race, gender, sexuality, class, beliefs, etc, we feel most comfortable among our own.  Do you remember where you sat in the high school cafeteria?  The need to belong and be accepted is great among the human race and we thrive off of some kind of interaction with others.

Yea, I think it is a little like "Mean Girls"...even where you SIT determines sooo much about you smh.

In a country where English is not the native tongue, I’ve come to realize how important verbal communication is and isn’t at the same time.  It amazes me how my eyes would light up when I saw another foreigner walking the streets, as something as basic as being able to talk to them excited me.  If we ever had the chance to formally meet, we would have started to see a place in each other’s lives.  And yet, there are moments where all we share is a laugh and that's enough of a language to know what the other person wants to say.  But why can’t things be like this at home (in America)?

How many people in this picture do you think speak English?  I'll give you a hint, only the ones that look like me do.  We communicate with more than just vocabulary.

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.

At the risk of making us sound like participants in a salivating dog experiment, we are conditioned to think and behave in a certain way from birth.  The socialization in America is phenomenal.  I’m sure we can all think of people who vote Republican because their father does and that’s just “the way things are.”  Or the girl who won’t tell anyone she likes Winnie the Pooh because her friends said liking cartoon characters is for babies.  There is a suppressed personality inside of all of us; putting yourself in unfamiliar surroundings allows for it to come out.

When you get off the plane, you are filled with a spectrum of emotions and questions.  As time goes on, you start to balance out, but your personality and character exponentially develops.  Just in my brief stint abroad, I have seen/done/learned so much. (Click here to see a little more of my travel story!)  Some things are forever changed in me.

·         I love to travel.  Someone once said the adult sticker book is a passport.  I wholeheartedly agree.  Every time I get a new stamp I feel the same exhilaration as getting a new Lisa Frank sticker book (remember those?).

·         KARAOKE. ANYTIME. ANYPLACE. WITH ANYONE. YES. YES. YES!!!

Can you believe we are at a BOWLING ALLEY?! Yea, we got hard in the paint for some karaoke!

·         I am unique.  That is a stronger, more positive word than “different.”  I embrace it.  If people don’t understand my fashion choices for instance, it is because the pants I wear are Thai pants and my jewelry is from Jamaica and Malaysia.  I can’t expect them to be accepting, or even understanding of me.  They haven’t been unplugged as I have.  It’s ok.  They don’t know any better. ;-)

·         Food is delicious almost EVERYWHERE.  You just have to be willing to try it (and at times, get over the presentation or ingredients of it)!

This food looked a little like vomit haha but as you can see, we devoured it.

·         Most importantly, I’ve learned that it is ok to be yourself.  It is almost required.  Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”  No matter whom you choose to be, make sure that is who you really are.  Even when we say someone dances to the beat of their own drummer, that still means it is them and the drummer!  Don’t hide who you are in fear of isolation.  If we are our true selves, we will attract the correct circle around us.

I pretty much met them all the same night.  We ended up having dinner & spending HOURS thinking we are Whitney/Mariah/Toni/Janet haha.  Now we hang out regularly & I've even had a sleepover with one of them!

Traveling has allowed me to come to my own resolutions about these and many other things at warp speed.  I think this is perhaps why things are so different here than back home, especially in terms of relationships.  All the highs and lows we would experience with people back home is fast-forwarded here.  In our familial surroundings, we listen to family, friends, media, politics, religion, etc.  When you move to a place where no one knows your face, name, or even language, an enormous socialization burden is lifted.  A lot of societal voices are silenced.  When our own voice is the most clear, so is our sense of direction and purpose; so are we.

Thanks Abbie! (My new hair stylist haha you like?)

As bizarre as it may sound, I came to all these conclusions one day when I was out with my new bestie and chuckling at how we already have inside jokes and each other’s back stories.  My guard is completely down with her and many others I encounter here.  I pray I never feel the need to throw up a wall again when I move on from this place.  So here’s to Abbie, who unknowingly helped me to realize that it isn’t necessarily Korea specifically that changed my behavior, but my own maturity when I allowed my voice to be the only one to speak for me.  Silence is more than golden; it's eye-opening.

**If you can’t afford to travel internationally, I highly recommend domestic travel to place totally unfamiliar to you.  The silence is there for everyone, you just have to find it.