Passing the Expat Baton...STICK! (Part 2)

By:  Brittany S

Now I know after reading the last post, I may have come off as a bit snooty, unapproachable, or full of attitude to some, and to others, I may have just been keeping it real.  But whatever your response to my initial post was, here is the softer side.  I offer you the cold side of the pillow; this is what happens when I am able to help someone become an expat, or at least an international traveler, for the first time.








First, a little about me:
(For the avid readers of my posts, you have probably read this once before, so you can skip to the next section.)  I'm a mid-20s, single, childless Black American living in Korea.  I grew up in several multi-generational households, with an average anywhere between 5-9 people in one 3-bedroom home.  Can you believe my mother was a single parent and I was an only child with those numbers!?  Let's just say "life for me ain't been no crystal stair."  My predominantly Black high school lost its accreditation the year after I graduated and what I learned (at a different high school) my freshman year was repeated over the next 3 years, ultimately putting me far behind my collegiate classmates.  My counselor tried to prepare me for a community college or the military.  She never even mentioned a four-year university and beyond.  My school's expectations for me were clear; I won't go far in life.

When I went off to a predominantly White institution, I noticed how different I was from them in life experiences and preparedness.  They all went on Spring Break trips around the country in high school (You mean you didn't just go to grandma's?) and around Europe as a senior class trip (My school allowed us to sell candy bars to go to DC, but that's as far as we got).  And in college?  They came in their freshman year with almost enough credits to make them sophomores.  They studied abroad and took family vacations out of the country.  Their two-story brick homes were renovated to add an additional room (Sometimes we lived in one-bedroom apartments with 3 people).  They knew about when they were going to get married, where they would live, and what they would do for work.  Some of them already had job offers before they even applied (Why don't I know anyone who can offer ME a job?).

Seriously?  Am I the ONLY one who doesn't have this all figured out?  (redsuspenders.tumblr.com)

After I got over my self-pity, or even past the blaming institutional racism for my plight, I realized that I was now in the same classrooms and same school as them.  I had a lot of the same resources available to me, and I had the power to change my situation.  Granted, there was a little more of a struggle financially (so I worked three jobs every semester), but I now had a CHOICE.  I could determine my future, or blame my past for my present.  I chose the former.  In 2007, I studied abroad in London for 6 weeks over the summer, as the only person from my state in the program.

Here I am six years later, living in South Korea.  People ask me questions all the time, but my favorite is when people just want to know my story.  Everyone likes telling stories, especially the ones they were able to author.  I have told people about my experiences before and after I became an expat and in doing so, I have planted a seed and/or nourished a dormant curiosity within them.  I think the best part about my story is when people tell me they can't do what I'm doing, I say "Why not?  I did it.  What makes you so different?"  When they sincerely consider this question and come to the realization that our differences aren't too many, then the real conversation begins.

Since I have been abroad, I have been able to help people find jobs abroad, and leave America for the first time, visit a foreign country for the first time (strictly as a tourist and not on military orders).  I must say I absolutely LOVED sharing in their expat "firsts".

Yep, that about sums it up. (kyssthis16.tumblr.com)

Finding a Job Abroad:  College Friend

My second job in Korea was a 6-month appointment to a rural elementary school.  I thought this was the perfect time-fill as I graduated from college in December and planned to teach in America in the fall.  Well, being in Korea as an employee instead of a student changed my outlook on expat living.  Six months is too short!  So, I decided to stay.  My friend from back home was in the same transitory state in her life, so I suggested that she came to Korea to do the same program I had just completed.  After a few conversations back and forth, she took me up on my offer and we got started on her application.  Because I had already gone through the same program, I was able to give her insider tips that helped her make a smoother transition than some of her peers.  I also was her reassuring voice, as she quickly saw how few people like "us" were expats and how intimidating this new form of solitude could be.
I remember the many times of her being lost in translation and navigation, not understanding the currency conversion or the language, and struggling to figure out something (seemingly) as simple as what to order from the menu.  And then I remember her traveling to three different countries with me in the same week, making friends with the locals, speaking and reading Korean, and telling people back home about how this could be their life, too.  She was an expat.
I was sad when it was time to see her off, but I was glad that not only did this experience change the lives of her students forever, but it has forever made her aware of global citizenship, expat living, and ultimately made her a better person.  I am so excited to see what the future holds for her.

She CONQUERED Asia...now all of her thoughts are global.  I'm so proud of her!

Traveling as a Tourist:  Sorority Sister

One of my favorite things about being in a Sorority is that I will be able to find another Soror just about anywhere I go.  When I moved to Korea, I joined one of our International Alumnae chapters and connected with my Sorors across the country.  Many of the chapter's membership consisted of members of the military.  I planned a trip with one of them to Japan.  She had never traveled abroad as a tourist before, only as a soldier.  She was so excited!  Even though both of us lived in Korea, I was able to teach her something new about expat life on this trip.  There were a couple times she found herself being surprised (disappointed) that everyone didn't speak English and/or that USD were not accepted everywhere.  But after a while, she got the hang of things and was able to communicate with the locals in a more effective way and master public transportation.  After this trip with me, she planned a SOLO trip to a couple other Asian countries.  Man, even I haven't done that yet!







Welcome Abroad:  Old Flame

There's something exciting about being able to share something you really love with someone you really love.  A blast from my past decided that he wanted to come visit me in Korea and I couldn't have been happier.  He was my first and only visitor abroad from back home.  There was so much I wanted to show him but only had a short amount of time!  And it didn't help that he came in the middle of Korea's winter.  HARSH.
I took him to meet me Korean family and even though my "brother" and one of my "sisters" don't really speak English, we were able to speak enough broken English and Korean to each other to communicate.  They wanted to get a feel for my friend and see how much he could drink (actually, they offered him their homemade raspberry wine, which Koreans believe aides a man in um...well...you know...).



It was really great that we were able to visit a Fire Station and interact with everyone, even the Chief (can you tell which one is the chief from the picture?  Look at the clothes.)  He is a fireman in his hometown and wanted to see how similar and different his profession is abroad.  They were honored to have him and he was honored to have had that experience.



This was his first trip abroad.  He purchased a passport and traveled 24 hours by himself into a country whose native language is not English.  Now that's brave.  My first trip abroad was to London!  I hope that through this exposure, he now feels the world is bigger than his neighborhood and country and that it is his to explore!  I'm glad I was able to awaken in him a new curiosity.



Ultimately, it is moments like these that won't allow me to throw in the towel on travel guidance for others.  I hope the three of them continue to travel throughout their lives.  If not, at least their perspectives on life and the world will forever be altered at least somewhat.  I know they've altered mine.  I'm glad someone was able to take my baton and keep the travel bug alive.  Have you inspired someone to travel lately?

A Midnight Gondola Ride With Him…And His Missus Is Ok With It

By:  Brittany S

Last weekend was magical.  Even though I couldn’t understand what he was trying to say to me, I could look in his eyes and stare at his hands; they told me everything I needed to know.  He wanted me right here with him…and she knew.

 

Who is “he” you ask?  My Oppa  (오빠 "big brother")!  Who else?!  I know it has been a long time since I last wrote about him, but he and his family are still very much a part of my life.  Now that I live in a different city, I don’t see them nearly as often, but we definitely keep in touch!

                One day I messaged my Uhni (언니 "big sister") and she invited me to join them at a resort over the weekend.  ROADTRIP!  WOOHOO!  I was a bit nervous (as I always am when I go out of town with them, but last time it worked out alright), but I agreed.  They drove two hours to pick me up, then another two to our destination, with a random pit stop in between.

                On the way, 오빠 made a pit stop at a SHEEP FARM.  Yep.  I guess this isn’t very fascinating to me because I have driven and walked past fields with sheep many times in America, but for them, it was special.  But when my family found out there was a fee to get closer to the sheep (less than $5USD), they decided it was too expensive, so we left…but not before they fed me.

                Even though I ate before getting in the car, I was immediately handed Mandarin oranges and a hot sweet potato. At the sheep farm, they bought me a corn dog.  There was even a point where I was forced to bite off one of theirs, after they gnawed at mine.  Sharing is caring!  But they weren’t done!  They know I love meat more than vegetables, so they make it a point to cook a lot of meat anytime I am around.  This time was one for the record books.  They bought a TON of steak, links, and hot dogs (and were very apologetic that it wasn’t American beef, but Australian.  *shrugs*).  They made so much meat I thought I was going to be sick!  I ate until I couldn’t anymore, then a little more just for them.  We laughed and talked in broken English and Korean until we moved on to games.

                I usually just play “Blue Marble” with all the kids (like a Korean ‘Monopoly’), but this time the adults decided to play a game as well.  They taught me (with gestures, 2 or 3 English words, and Korean) how to play Yutnori.  We played with our family (오빠, his son, and me) against the other family (they traveled with us last time).  We won the first game and lost the next two.  I blame the player substitutions!  While I was playing with the kids, 오빠 said he wanted to go on a “Gondola ride date” with me and asked if that was ok.  I looked at his wife for clarification (as there aren't any Gondolas at the ski resort right?) and she said yes and go.  I STILL have no idea where this gondola came from, but I suppose this is our next adventure?*

After games, dinner, and drinks, we headed outside to check out the resort premises.  Even though we hadn’t had the first snow, ski season had begun so there was artificial snow everywhere, with the ski slope directly outside our windows.  One of the men in the group is a professional photographer.  I don’t know if it was the soju or his wife, but he suddenly was inspired to have an impromptu photo shoot on the snow using only his camera phone.  As we giggled and ran away from him (he drunkenly chased us, too!), he snapped pics.  He finally convinced us to start posing and he told me he loves my silly poses.  That’s all I needed to hear; I went into full Naomi mode, making the rest of the Koreans to blush. We had a good time!  It was fun to watch the rest of the men and boys have a snowball fight.

She laughed so hard she started crying haha

What? He told me to pose in the snow! She wasn't ready...

                By now I am worn out, but they are still going strong.  The children were instructed to perform to “Gangnam Style” for the adults.  They were even assigned parts and given an iPad to go watch the video for practice.  That was fun.  It was funny to see the kids being forced to dance in a totally different culture than my own; moments like that make me feel at home here.  I stayed awake long enough to watch the performances, then was dismissed to go to bed.  My family could see the fatigue all over my face so my 언니 came to the ladies’ room (we stayed in a 2 bed/2 bath condominium villa) and tucked me in my floor mat.  She laid her mat out next to mine and for a minute I thought she was about to try to share a mat with me.  Instead, she gently caressed my face and said she loves me as if she was putting her little girl to bed.  Sometimes you would never guess that she is only 13 years older than me!

The beautiful wife who inspired this photo shoot. (LEFT)

                Later, 언니 returned to go to bed.  When she thought I was sleep, she held my hand and fell asleep.  Even though I don’t understand everything she says, I always understand everything she does.  She really loves me.  We slept hand-in-hand for hours (when I finally fell asleep that is!  I was laying on my back and she on her stomach.  After so long, I was uncomfortable!  I wanted to roll over!).  Around 5:30am, I woke up to use the bathroom.  Little did I know that one of the other ladies was awake and would start talking to me when I returned.  That eventually woke the other ladies, who woke the children, who woke the men.  The whole house was awake and LIVELY before 6am!  Next time I will just hold it :-).  I just KNEW I was going to be able to lie back down and continue sleeping!  WRONG!

                I had to leave the resort earlier than everyone else because I had an appointment in Seoul.  Before I left, 오빠 insisted on making me breakfast.  He even Westernized it a little for me by making fried eggs and Salisbury steaks to go with the meal.  Because I am not much of a drinker, everyone made it a point to keep my glasses filled with OJ and water.  The men drove me to the bus terminal and one of the women even rode the bus with me to Seoul to make sure I would be ok.  They are sooooo considerate and hospitable.  오빠and 언니 announced to everyone that they want to be able to communicate with me more fluidly, but they are old so they will not study English.  Instead, I have been instructed to continue my study of the Korean language.  I am trying…people like that are all the more motivation for me to learn.  (OPPA AND UHNI, I LOVE YOU!...오빠랑 언니, 사랑해요! )

*My 오빠 believes we are closer than his wife and I are, so he insists on his 1-on-1 time to further his lead if you will.*

“I Wish Things Were Like This At Home…”

By:  Brittany S

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.  How could I have been so naïve to that fact?

I just moved to a new city three weeks ago and I have a new “best friend”.  Now of course we aren’t true best friends—the type that go in each other’s fridges, know each other’s parents’ phone numbers, been each other’s wingman then shoulder to cry on after the breakup.  We’re not even the besties that use the bathroom and talk to each other while the other is in the shower (Too far?).

"You and me must ne-vah part...ma-tee-da-da."

But, if anyone knows what is going on with me and/or where I am, she does.

But how is this possible in such a short time?  Two words:  FOREIGNER FRIENDLY.  These words mean more to me than just that that locals welcome/embrace foreigners or that there is an English translation available.  It means when foreigner meets foreigner, we (generally) become really friendly!  Initially knowing our only commonalities to be English speaker and non-Korean, we are more willing to do a lot of things within the first 24-48 hours of “knowing” each other:

·         Exchange phone numbers

·         Add each other on social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc)

·         Tell each other where we work and live (and sometimes even give each other the key codes to get into each other’s apartment buildings/rooms) as well as how/why we are in Korea and where we are from

·         Go to each other’s apartments

·         Go to dinners, bowling parties, etc and not know a single person in attendance

·         Hug or have some other form of familial physical contact

·         Ask for and/or offer career advice

·         Give or loan goods and services

I don't even know them.  I invited them to sing w/us & they were HILARIOUS.  I don't think I would be so "friendly" in the middle of the night if we were stateside.

All of this is possible without even knowing each other’s last name!  It may seem as though these newly-formed relationships are superficial (and in some cases, they are), but we sincerely develop somewhat intimate relationships with each other in an astoundingly short time.  It’s human nature to seek out those who are similar to us.  Whether our similarities be along the lines of race, gender, sexuality, class, beliefs, etc, we feel most comfortable among our own.  Do you remember where you sat in the high school cafeteria?  The need to belong and be accepted is great among the human race and we thrive off of some kind of interaction with others.

Yea, I think it is a little like "Mean Girls"...even where you SIT determines sooo much about you smh.

In a country where English is not the native tongue, I’ve come to realize how important verbal communication is and isn’t at the same time.  It amazes me how my eyes would light up when I saw another foreigner walking the streets, as something as basic as being able to talk to them excited me.  If we ever had the chance to formally meet, we would have started to see a place in each other’s lives.  And yet, there are moments where all we share is a laugh and that's enough of a language to know what the other person wants to say.  But why can’t things be like this at home (in America)?

How many people in this picture do you think speak English?  I'll give you a hint, only the ones that look like me do.  We communicate with more than just vocabulary.

While I was sitting there looking at her that’s when it hit me; things are different because of me.

At the risk of making us sound like participants in a salivating dog experiment, we are conditioned to think and behave in a certain way from birth.  The socialization in America is phenomenal.  I’m sure we can all think of people who vote Republican because their father does and that’s just “the way things are.”  Or the girl who won’t tell anyone she likes Winnie the Pooh because her friends said liking cartoon characters is for babies.  There is a suppressed personality inside of all of us; putting yourself in unfamiliar surroundings allows for it to come out.

When you get off the plane, you are filled with a spectrum of emotions and questions.  As time goes on, you start to balance out, but your personality and character exponentially develops.  Just in my brief stint abroad, I have seen/done/learned so much. (Click here to see a little more of my travel story!)  Some things are forever changed in me.

·         I love to travel.  Someone once said the adult sticker book is a passport.  I wholeheartedly agree.  Every time I get a new stamp I feel the same exhilaration as getting a new Lisa Frank sticker book (remember those?).

·         KARAOKE. ANYTIME. ANYPLACE. WITH ANYONE. YES. YES. YES!!!

Can you believe we are at a BOWLING ALLEY?! Yea, we got hard in the paint for some karaoke!

·         I am unique.  That is a stronger, more positive word than “different.”  I embrace it.  If people don’t understand my fashion choices for instance, it is because the pants I wear are Thai pants and my jewelry is from Jamaica and Malaysia.  I can’t expect them to be accepting, or even understanding of me.  They haven’t been unplugged as I have.  It’s ok.  They don’t know any better. ;-)

·         Food is delicious almost EVERYWHERE.  You just have to be willing to try it (and at times, get over the presentation or ingredients of it)!

This food looked a little like vomit haha but as you can see, we devoured it.

·         Most importantly, I’ve learned that it is ok to be yourself.  It is almost required.  Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”  No matter whom you choose to be, make sure that is who you really are.  Even when we say someone dances to the beat of their own drummer, that still means it is them and the drummer!  Don’t hide who you are in fear of isolation.  If we are our true selves, we will attract the correct circle around us.

I pretty much met them all the same night.  We ended up having dinner & spending HOURS thinking we are Whitney/Mariah/Toni/Janet haha.  Now we hang out regularly & I've even had a sleepover with one of them!

Traveling has allowed me to come to my own resolutions about these and many other things at warp speed.  I think this is perhaps why things are so different here than back home, especially in terms of relationships.  All the highs and lows we would experience with people back home is fast-forwarded here.  In our familial surroundings, we listen to family, friends, media, politics, religion, etc.  When you move to a place where no one knows your face, name, or even language, an enormous socialization burden is lifted.  A lot of societal voices are silenced.  When our own voice is the most clear, so is our sense of direction and purpose; so are we.

Thanks Abbie! (My new hair stylist haha you like?)

As bizarre as it may sound, I came to all these conclusions one day when I was out with my new bestie and chuckling at how we already have inside jokes and each other’s back stories.  My guard is completely down with her and many others I encounter here.  I pray I never feel the need to throw up a wall again when I move on from this place.  So here’s to Abbie, who unknowingly helped me to realize that it isn’t necessarily Korea specifically that changed my behavior, but my own maturity when I allowed my voice to be the only one to speak for me.  Silence is more than golden; it's eye-opening.

**If you can’t afford to travel internationally, I highly recommend domestic travel to place totally unfamiliar to you.  The silence is there for everyone, you just have to find it.

When East Meets West: Hosting an International Visitor

By: Brittany S

As an American citizen from the Midwest living in Korea, I have found some things about Korean (and Eastern culture in general) culture to be very similar to my own.  However, there is a lot that is very distinct of our respective regions and at times, they clash.

For anyone who has done any research on Koreans’ perspectives on foreigners in Korea, you know that Koreans are generally accepting of us being here, but they have their preferences (the closer you are to the Eurocentric standard of beauty—particularly blond hair, blue eyes, the better), as well as their restrictions (they really dislike when foreigners date their women).  Because of this open, but close-minded mentality, oftentimes, Koreans struggle to understand the African American population.  People of all ages (from my elementary school students to the random old lady on the bus stop) always TELL me that I am African, particularly S. African (as that is the only African country that can hold an English teaching position here).  Also, given that a Eurocentric standard of beauty of being thin as a rail, pale as a ghost, and having long, straight, silky hair doesn’t exactly match an Afrocentric one of “my Black is beautiful” and being curvy is actually being a GOOD thing and curly hair that grows towards the sky, there have been plenty of times that I’ve caught people taking pics of me or rubbing my skin as if I’m some freak of nature. All of this simply because they just don’t understand how I came to be.

They were once afraid to be near me, now they hug me daily.

            So here I am, the only little chocolate chip in the cookie, being the spokesperson of not only my country, but of my ethnic heritage (I’ll let you figure out which voice is louder).  Any opportunity I get I make sure to stress that America has more than “Susans” and “Toms,” but people like Jamal, Keisha, Miguel, Muhammad, Fangbai, EunHwa, Pierre, Natalia, and others make up our “melting pot” as well.**  It’s particularly important to me that they understand that Black people are a HUGE part of American society, and that White people do in fact live in S. Africa.  When I teach, I make sure to encourage my students to love their Asian selves and stop trying to look White.  I also try to open their eyes to other countries beyond Japan & China, or Britain & Australia.  I want them to see value in other people and places, and not just think of them as “other.”  I recently had the pleasure of hosting one of my former students in America.  She was so open and curious about me and (my version of) American life that I just gave her as much of it as I could in our short time together.

            My former student (who is now a sophomore in college and my friend) came to stay with me for the 9 days that I was in America and enjoyed every minute of it.  Although her English speaking is not the greatest, her comprehension and willingness to try are stellar.  It was funny watching 95% of my family BUTCHER her name, even though I said it slowly several times.  They all decided to give her a nickname (her whole name is the length of my first name, yet they gave her a nickname) to avoid any further slaughter.  They embraced her as a part of our family, and made her feel right at home with love-filled hugs.  Here are the things we did:

 

Visited most of my relatives (all grandparents, parents, and most of my aunts and cousins):  here she was fed everything from a hot link and vinegar chips to spinach artichoke dip and lasagna; all of these foods are not common in Korea and definitely go against her Korean diet.  I warned her about weight gain!

With my Granny. No visit is complete without a grandmother's cooking!  They are almost the same height and color!  We aren't so different after all...

Went to “Sweetie Pie’s”: I figured this was the quickest way to get her to a soul food spread.  I had her to try the cabbage (since Koreans eat kimchi=fermented cabbage), she didn’t like it but she devoured everything else.

Hey Mikey! I think she likes it! :-)

Went to the St. Louis City Museum and Dave & Buster’s:  There’s a big kid in all of us and no matter what language you speak, we all like large playgrounds and arcades :-)

My sister got stuck!

 

Went SHOPPING: Oh c’mon, who DOESN’T go shopping in another country?!  Also, Koreans are REALLY into fashion.  She felt proud that she will go home with exclusive “American style” clothing.

I would soooo love to see someone wear these...

 

Visited my university:  she had never seen a university so big (mine has its own zip code) and my home from my school and her’s from her’s are equidistant (2hrs), yet she makes that commute daily for classes and we consider that distance “away from home.”

With my mommy :-)

Went to a Step Show:  Stepping is popular among African Americans and is one of our ancestral ties to the Motherland.  I thought it would be interesting to show her that although we incorporate Africa in our culture, that we are in fact different.  Her eyes lit up.  She recorded videos and everything.

Went  to a Korean restaurant & noraebang (singing room):  It was nice to give her the taste of home she was missing while exposing my family to my new culture.

(L) I missed the family-size portions in Korea :-(  (R) I don't think she was ready for how passionate we get with a mic.

Went to a club/party?:  NOPE. Poor baby was so tired from all our running around that she slept in.

Lucky! I had to DRIVE everywhere!

Taught her how to play “Bones” (dominoes) and do “The Wobble” and others:  I was proud of her!  We need to work on her trash talking haha but she was timidly calling her points.  And here’s a little secret—Koreans love line dancing, too!  Go to a Korean club and see!  So now she knows how to do OUR line dances.

 

Went to Steak n Shake, Jack in the Box, Sonic’s, Wendy’s, & IHOP:  I had to let her know that America has more favorites than McDonald’s, Burger King, Baskin Robbins, and Dunkin Donuts (all found all around Korea).  Each time she ordered a lot of food and finished it all!  In Korea, the most I’ve ever seen her eat was an order of samgyupsal (Korean BBQ that looks like thick bacon)!

When I asked her what she thought about everything and how she was doing, her eyes always seemed enthusiastic, and although she couldn’t say more than “GOOD!” I knew she was loving her time in my world and that when she returns to Korea, she will be one more voice for Black people, Black Americans, and Americans in general.  All it takes is an open mind and heart and the rest will follow.  If you have the opportunity to enlighten someone about something very important to you, I encourage you to do it.  Each one, reach/teach one.  She’s my “one” in Korea.  But I’ll be here another year.  Who’s coming home with me next?

**This is in no way meant to stereotype people, rather, to speak to the popularity of these particular names among certain races in America.

Just the Two of Us, Living Abroad and Married

July, 2012—Cha Jones, ContributingAuthor

Recently ayoung lady in our Women of Color Living Abroad FaceBook Group posted this comment/question,

"Living abroadis a wonderful and fulfilling experience and I'm so glad to have traveled andlived outside of my home country. Making the most of years I hope to get out ofmy life. For those who've yet to be married and start a family (and have plansto do so), how have you re-evaluated your plans in terms of living abroadeither long-term or short term? I've concludedthat while I love traveling and have enjoyed my experience living abroad, I'dmuch rather meet my partner and start a family in my own country, and then dosome traveling together to share the experience. Whether I live abroadlong-term again as wife and mother has yet to be determined, but for thosewomen who're married and/or have kids and are living abroad, what's your story?”

So,I thought that I would take a moment and interview the very first couple to be on WOCLA, Curtis andMichelle Howe, who are living and working abroad in the UAE, but are originally from London England.

After readingabout Curtis and Michelle I would love to hear your comments about travelingwith a spouse, having a relationship while traveling, and/or your thoughts on movinghome to establish a relationship even if you still love living abroad.

Interview with Curtis and MichelleHowe

Where are the two of you from?

We are both from London,England

How did youmeet?

Weattended the same church

What do youdo professionally?

Michelle-Iam an Elementary School Teacher

Curtis-Iam a Project Manager in the Oil & Gas Sector

In whichcountry and city are the two of currently living?

AbuDhabi, UAE

Where wereyou living before you moved to Abu Dhabi?

Weboth were living in London, England where we are from.

How longhave you been in Abu Dhabi?

Wehave only been in Abu Dhabi for 18 months

What othercountries have you lived in prior to moving to Abu Dhabi? Michelle-Ihave only lived in my native city and country, London, England

Curtis-Ihave lived in London, England as well as Canada

If you don’tmind how old are you?

Curtis-I am 38 Michelle- Iam 33

If you don’tmind, what is your religious faith? Has your faith ever played a role in yourlifestyle (good or bad) while living in Abu Dhabi?Weare Christians. Through prayer and faithwe have been able to transition ourselves into the unfamiliar and move intoGod’s purpose for our lives in Abu Dhabi.

What was thereason that you moved to Abu Dhabi? (If for work please explain the process andwhat you do) Michelle-I moved here because I wanted to gain international experience of teachingabroad and widen my travel opportunities. I was recruited through teachaway.comand currently teach English to Emirati students.

Curtis-I have always been fascinated by Arabic culture and The Middle East.

What was thebiggest thing that you had to adjust to when you first moved to Abu Dhabi?

Thebiggest thing about moving here would have to be not expecting things to bedone when you want them to happen. Patience is the key!

Michelle,what is the worst thing about living abroad for you?

Missingfamily occasions in London.

Curtis, whatis the worst thing about living abroad for you?

Beingable to run in the middle of the day because its cooler.

What is thebest thing about living in Abu Dhabi?

Theglorious sunshine! The Corniche beach feels like I’m permanently on holiday!

Is race everan issue?

Curtis-Iam being constantly regarded as Sudanese or South African. When the locals findout I’m Western, personal attention becomes better.

Was thereever a time where you had to be apart? If so, for how long and what was thatlike?

WhenCurtis had to go away on business, we soon realized that being together is anessential part of survival in a strange land.

Consideringthat the two of you are married, is there anything that you would tell singlestraveling along to help them if they do desire to be married?

Continueto explore life’s possibilities, travel and have fun. It’san old cliché-but love WILL find you!

Curtis, Ican imagine that living in Abu Dhabi as a man is much different for you, thanit is for Michelle? Are there anycultural differences that would leave you concerned for Michelle or her safety?

Ihave no concerns for Michelle’s safety whatsoever because the crime rate isextremely low here.

Michelle, isit difficult being a woman in a male dominated Muslim country? If, so why orwhy not?

Thereis a current drive here for local women to be in the workplace and have aprofession which is encouraging to see compared to other Islamic countries.

Do you thinkliving abroad together as a couple has helped your relationship? If so, in whatway has it helped?

Definitely!As a couple you learn to rely upon each other as you only have each other.There are no distractions from well-meaning family members.

Do you planon having a family?

Nowe don’t plan on having a family.

What otherplaces other countries would you consider living in?

Japanand Jamaica.

A growingnumber of young Blacks are moving overseas to work and many of themare single, what do you think is the best thing about having your spouse withyou on this adventure? Havinga spouse with you while moving overseas amounts to travelling with your bestfriend and sharing lifetime experiences. We aim to be a blessing to others.

If you were singlewhat in your life would be different?

Michelle: Nothing. I am happy with my life.

Curtis: I would date Michelle sooner than I did!

The bigquestion many singles who are traveling overseas alone are faced with is datingand some, I would imagine more women, ponder on going home to find asignificant other. Now, I know that you two are married, but what advice wouldyou have for those who want to be married, but also want to travel and see theworld? Iknow a few friends who have taken a leap of faith and travelled abroad and havemet their significant other! They are currently planning weddings! Love canalso be found outside of the State or country you are presently living in.

What advicewould you give other Black couples who may want to consider livingabroad, but have their fears? Weencourage others to look outside of the box and explore new opportunities madeavailable to them. Living abroad does come with its challenges and low times,but in the long run it opens your eyes to new opportunities and dreams thatgoes beyond your comfort zone.

“The brave man is not he who does not feelafraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela.

Curtis, canyou take a moment speak to young black men who may not even be consideringliving abroad? What would you tell them about that could change their lives? Youshould be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Trust in God, bedeliberate and afraid of nothing.

Michelle,what would be your advice to young black women who may want to live abroad, butare scared they may be forfeiting a chance for a relationship?

Youonly have one life to live-live it to the fullest!!